It’s Friday!

Holla!

It’s a three day weekend, and I’m thrilled. Do YOU have big plans? I don’t have BIG plans, but I have plans. Great plans.

Yesterday was a really rough day. Really rough. I had a bunch of stuff to do after work, and the last thing I wanted to be, was out in this 105* heat. Ugh. By the time I got home, I didn’t feel like cooking. So, I called in for reinforcements.

He cooked Spaghetti and garlic bread. Simple, but sooooo good.

Thanks B. :-)

 

Enjoy your weekend, Readers. I can’t wait to hear about what YOU did over this three day weekend.

More repairs

Remember this post?

Well, after I wrote it, I never was able to get in touch with him again. I’m quite certain Jeff found out he was going to help me, and told him to stop all communication with me. Childish, but whatever. That’s Jeff. (rolling eyes)

Friday, I get home from work, and was relieved that I didn’t have anything to do or anywhere to go till Monday. Thrilled actually. Until I got in my car at midnight to satisfy an iced tea addiction, and it wouldn’t start. I was immediately annoyed, but figured that since it was midnight, it didn’t really matter. So back to bed I went.

The next morning, I ran through an entire laundry list of things I knew to check. Even replaced the battery. Still no dice. No power anywhere. It had to be a stupid simple thing. I just knew it did. Grrr. Obviously a much more skilled mechanic would have probably caught what was wrong, but I didn’t. I just don’t know everything.

Ended up having to have her towed to the place that does all our mechanical work at The Ranch. RM#1 was nice enough to be there when they came and got it. You know, I’m getting kind of tired of seeing her up on that damn truck.

When they called to tell me the news, I almost fell out of my chair. I felt so stupid, I was embarrassed to tell people.

Negative battery cable was damaged.

They replaced. $26 out the door. THEN he sprung it on me. I knew it was coming, but I was hoping they wouldn’t make a big deal of it. Turns out, that timing chain cover noise, wasn’t a timing chain cover noise at all. Ended up being a water pump. Interesting right? I’m a little confused by it, and would love to know how it could have possibly been falling off without my car showing the least bit of overheating, but whatever. I just want it fixed. I only have this bad boy for a few more days. (Yay for trainers that like to loan out their vehicles.)

When I picked up my car today, do you want to know what the best thing in the whole world at that very moment was?

IT DIDN’T KNOCK/CLACK ANYMORE.

Sometimes, it’s the little things in life that make it so exciting.

Watch out, y’all. MsNscr is back! Again. ;-)

Best flashlight ever

Streamlight Stylus Pro

About a year ago, I had mentioned to Jeffy that I wanted a flashlight to carry in my car. He jumped at the opportunity to be the hero, and ordered me this awesome little stylus. It comes in a few different colors, but since red is my favorite, obviously that’s the one I got. ;-)

I’ve come to find that I’ve needed this more times that I figured I would, so I carry it around in my purse instead of leaving it in my car. Maybe I need a second one to keep in my car. It even comes with a carrying case to protect it so it’s not getting damaged by all the stuff in my purse….

Go check them out. You can order them on Amazon. Click here to see a variety. It’s a purchase you won’t regret. I promise.

Leroy.

I never thought I would fully understand the relationship between a man and a bird, but after five years of watching RM#2 interact with his birds, I think I finally get it.

Remember Leroy?

17 weeks ago, he looked like this…

16 weeks ago, he looked like this…

Last week, he looked like this…

RM#2 had Leroy out to play. That means he opens up his cage and allows him to fly free. Because he thinks RM#2 is his Dad, he never strays too far. He goes out and flies around the house and in the canyon, but always comes back to Dad. It’s awesome. He walks around the garage being as curious as can be. If I walk around with bare feet, he’ll peck at my toes because he thinks they are food. I guess the nail polish on my toes looks like berries or something. LOL

I was trying to teach him to play Tug-of-War. He would hold the string for a few seconds, but didn’t like the tug I was applying. We’ll continue to try.

Race Time during Office Hours

This is what happens when a race comes on and I’m at work…

Bristol was pleasant to Kyle Busch for the truck race AND the nationwide race, but he wasn’t as lucky running the Sprint race. I looked forward to a new Sweep t-shirt, but that’s okay. On to Atlanta…

Just a few

These are all the dogs that currently live at my house. There are ten. Yes, ten.

Most days it doesn’t seem like ten because they’re so well behaved, but it’s still TEN.

Left to right: Kasey, Mattie, Suzie, Ziggy, Birdie, Jules, Auggie, Oliver, Stevie, and Jack. And of course, that’s RM#1.

iTunes vs. ?

iPhone readers! I need help.

I have a library of music. It’s gigabyte upon gigabyte of genres that range across the board. And I need somewhere to put it. Well, not all of it, just some of it. Like the Jason Aldean albums, the Highway 101 songs, the Hank Williams classics. You know, the important stuff.

I hate iTunes. I’ve hated it from the very first time I ever installed it. Just knowing that when I click that little icon to open it, the next three minutes will be spent waiting for it to load. Sigh.

After a few years of hearing me complain about it, Jeff got a program that was different, yet had the same idea. It was amazing. Unfortunately, it was done on his computer, and I’m definitely not about to contact him for THAT.

So instead, I’m asking you readers.

What do YOU use to put music on your iPhone? Help!

May or May not

I may or may not be seeing someone new.

He may or may not be a car guy.

He may or may not race Sprint cars.

He may or may not be smitten with me.

While stopped at a gas station last week, he talked me into taking a picture with him. Twisted my arm, can’t ya tell?

Song for Today

This song.

It’s so simple and stupid, but I love it. I’m the nerdy girl at the gas station totally rocking out to it. Deal with it.      :-)    Eventually there’ll be a video and I’ll replace this with it. But until then, here’s the song and the lyrics.

Weird Laws–West Virginia

In West Virginia

1. It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40lbs. sex with the family cat is okay, but not the family dog.
2. A person may be placed in jail for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challenge. I double dog dare you.
3. It is illegal to snooze on a train. cause why….?
4. A person may not hold public office if he or she has ever participated in a duel.  guess we won’t see nascar drivers running for office after the Gatorade Duel in Jan/Feb.
5. For each act of public swearing a person shall be fined one dollar.  I would be so screwed.
6. According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag. is that why we don’t race in west virginia?
7. Whistling under water is prohibited. if you can whistle under water, I want to see that!
8. Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse. THAT’S why they don’t hang out at the firehouse.
9. It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps. did I just write that?
10. No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. yep. sounds about right. no fun ever allowed to be had in church. (ugh)

Weird Laws–Washington

In Washington

1. No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold. this should be a law everywhere. people are SOOOOO gross when they go out in public while sick. ew.
2. X-rays may not be used to fit shoes. is there something I don’t know about?
3. All lollipops are banned. I’m sure this has something to do with not wanting women to tease men while sucking them. (rolling eyes)
4. It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag. isn’t it illegal to do ANYTHING to the American flag?
5. One may not spit on a bus. spit at the tires, if you must spit.
6. You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday. I’ve noticed that Sundays suck in most states because of dumb laws.
7. You may not shuck peanuts on the street. you must go to your nearest Hooters, where they don’t mind peanut shells on their floors. (at least in CA its that way)
8. Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment. ahhh! now I get what’s wrong with politics.
9. You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. cause when Shelly carries one, it’s two feet taller than she is.

Weird Laws - Virginia

In Virginia

1. Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. Does sex with the curtains open during the day, count?
2. There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates”.
3. If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations. What is with all these laws across the US preventing sex?
4. Oral or anal sex is prohibited. omg.
5. Police radar detectors are illegal. here too.
6. Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars. I would be honking all the time, with as many people as I pass every day.
7. It is illegal to tickle women. thank god!!
8. No animal may be hunted on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2am.
9. You cannot wash a mule on the sidewalk.
10. A person of color may not be outside or within the city limits after 7pm. oh Lord, I hope this is a VERY old law.
11. Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
12. It is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks. if you’re stupid enough to do this in ANY state, you deserve to have your car taken out by the train.

Know what I love about Race Day?

When I can’t attend the race, the NASCAR app is the next best thing. Know why?

Cause I can follow my driver like this…..

In this case, my driver happens to be the leader, so the two bubbles are on top of each other. :-)

Or…I could ride along with Kyle and see what he sees out his windshield…

I can watch the race live on TV, and then ride along with The KBShow on my phone. It’s awesome! Love this app.

…and then Kyle wins at The Glen!!!

So proud of him. Ambrose dominated most of the race, but Kyle showed us just how great he really is. People can complain and talk bad about him all they want, but he is a great racecar driver. And that is why I love him. Well, that and he’s a fun/funny guy outside of the track. And his wife is amazing!

Bummed for a bunch of other drivers. Ambrose. I hated seeing him wreck. Gordon. Another one that didn’t deserve to be taken out. Kahne. The list goes on. Road courses are tough. And the drivers know it could end badly. And sometimes it does.

Congrats to Kyle. Love seeing the KBShow in action.

Weird Laws–Vermont

In Vermont

1. Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
2. At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
3. It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
4. All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.

Weird Laws - Utah

In Utah

1. A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. My husband would never go anywhere with me. ;-)
2. It is against the law to fish from horseback.
3. It is illegal not to drink milk.
4. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
5. Birds have the right of way on all highways. So drive a Thunderbird.
6. It’s legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
7. No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call. Duh?
8. Women may not swear.
9. Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine. In a state where it snows?

Being single

Life is funny sometimes. It comes in waves of good and bad, and it’s truly all about how you handle it. I’ve learned that. The hard way.

• Sitting in a restaurant alone, is not near as much fun as sitting with someone and being able to talk. When you’re alone and talk, people look at you funny.
• Grocery shopping is so boring. Nobody to throw loaves of bread half way down the isle like a football, or someone to race shopping carts with in the parking lot.
• The beach is overrated.
• Dark corners of the world where you can watch airplanes take off and land, are not overrated.
• Doing things on Val time, is okay because they still get done.
• Bad Trash TV is easier to watch when someone isn’t sitting next to me saying, “I want to watch House”.
• Getting my nails done is far less exciting when I don’t have a back to scratch them down.
• Sitting in a Jacuzzi tub alone is very relaxing. And they’re bigger with one person.
• Dogs can provide you with unconditional love. And it actually makes me feel better sometimes.
• Moving into my own place is scaring me a little, but I’m ready for all the new challenges that will bring.
• I miss Date Night.

Can men and woman be just friends?

Someone sent me this video today. Watch it. What do YOU think?

Do you have experience with this? My answer would be yes AND no. Let me explain…

If you look at the situation like the guy in the video has, then yes, all men want to fuck all women, meaning men and women can’t be “just friends”. But that’s not always the case. Some men are a little more mature about where they stick their little friend. They understand boundaries and have enough common sense to know when an adult relationship is an adult relationship, and not a college fling, as it appears these are in the video. 

I have a handful of guy friends that I would never in a bazillion years think about having sex with. And honestly, a couple of those, probably feel the same way about me. Not all, but I’m sure a few.

However, the other side of that, shows that it is very difficult for a man and woman to be friends. I know Jeffy and I tried it a number of times, but since there was too much history and physical attraction, it didn’t work.

What are your thoughts? Can YOU have a friendship with the opposite sex without it going too far?

Just sayin’

Deep down inside, everyone wants rough sex.

Song for Today

Love.

Old boy Goose bought a new pontoon
Roll out now, hit the lake by noon
You bring the drinks and I'll crank the tunes
Get some hot sun
Jeep full of girls couldn't get no hotter
Flag 'em down holler won't you follow
There's a party floating on the water
It's going down right now
Come on jump on

The booze cruise, summer groove
I wanna see your booty move
Looks like you need another
So let me mix you up a Redneck Margarita
You know the one just straight tequila
All aboard we're cutting loose
So come on jump on
The booze cruise

Don't need bait, no line because
We're just catchin' us a buzz
Pass around some of that good stuff
Till dawn, it's on
Joe got drunk and fell in the lake
Ray passed out but make no mistake
Any minute now he'll wake and bake
Burn it up, turn it up
Come on jump on

The booze cruise, summer groove
I wanna see your booty move
Ooh so many hotties
Who wants to do a body shot off a string bikini
We call that a Hillbilly Martini
All aboard we're cutting loose
So come on jump on
The booze cruise

Look at headlight Lisa with a Jägerbomb
Done lost her mind, done lost her top
Walkin' round looking for one flip flop
Goodness she's a hot mess
Donnie's daughter she's sweet sixteen
He's madder than hell cause she was last seen
Jumping on the back of some boy's jet ski
That girl done flew the coupe (goodbye)
No telling what you'll lose
On the booze cruise

What kind of liquor makes your tushy move
Y'all let me mix you up a Redneck Margarita
You know the one just straight tequila
Good Lord all aboard
Come on jump on

The booze cruise, summer groove
I wanna see your booty move
Ooh so many hotties
Who wants to do a body shot off a string bikini
We call that a Hillbilly Martini
All aboard we're cutting loose
So come on jump on
The booze cruise

Today

What's the greatest chapter in your book?
Are there pages where it hurts to look?
What's the one regret you can't work through?
You got it baby, mine would be you.

Weird Laws–Texas

In Texas

1. It is illegal to sell one’s eye. A common problem, I guess.
2. A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather. Only Texas would think they can control something that can’t be controlled.
3. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. Cause maybe you’ll fall over? Hopefully the restaurant isn’t too crowded. Hope the bar isn’t standing room only. You’ll never get the drink.
4. Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. I wonder if this was a law when I lived in Texas. Cause I would have been a felon looooong ago.
5. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second floor of a hotel. Please shoot from the lobby level.
6. It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. But you can milk another person’s spouse.
7. A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24hr notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Are you freaking kidding me? This state….
8. Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense. And THIS is another reason why we’re still fighting for gays to be treated equal. Ridiculous.
9. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. They won’t condone beer making, but they’ll condone racism. Way to go, Texas. (rolling eyes)
10. Wire cutters cannot be carried in your pocket. I guess I’ll carry them in my purse.
11. It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. Please use your finger to leave streaks in the dust that’s built up.
12. It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos. I wonder what it is Texans have against sexual fun? Maybe they’d relax a little more and not be so uptight if they’d learn to enjoy sex toys.

Weird Laws–Tennessee

In Tennessee

1. It’s a crime to share your Netflix password. Why does the government care who I share my passwords with?
2. You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Whales in Tennessee? Yeah, that’s common.
3. Hollow logs may not be sold. Why? Cause you’ll hide something in them the government can’t see?
4. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Apparently in some states, they don’t use fishing poles.
5. Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. Well, that settles it. I’ll never live in Tennessee.
6. Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. Stealing a horse? Is that easier than stealing a car? Cause here in LA, we steal cars.
7. Interracial marriages are illegal. Just one more reason we’re not anywhere near being over this stupid race thing.
8. Tattooing a minor is a misdemeanor. Tattooing a minor should be child abuse and punishable by HUGE fines and/or jail time. Children today are fucked up enough. We don’t need parents taking their kids to get tattoos and tans at the age of seven.
9. Skunks may not be carried into the state. Please keep them on a leash.

Weird Laws–South Dakota

In South Dakota

1. Falling asleep in a cheese factory is illegal. Problem with this much?
2. In Sioux Falls, hotels are expected to have twin beds in every room which have to be at least two feet apart. People sat around a table and decided this needed to be a law?
3. No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. Horses with pants? What?
4. Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner, are forbidden. But I bet a movie about an African American kid being beaten, is allowed. Or a woman being raped.
5. If there are more than FIVE Native Americans on your property, you may shoot them. What? You can shoot people for being on your property, but you can’t watch a movie that has people beating up cops?
6. If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party, and fired upon. WTF?

Song for Today

She’s getting the boot

It was only a matter of time, but it finally happened.

Got a call a few nights ago from my bff@work. Said things had gotten out of hand at home, and he needed to get away.

SHOCKER!

The woman he moved into his house is a psycho. Trust me. From one to another. She’s fucking crazy!

He tells me story after story, and they get worse with each one. It’s unbelievable. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s kept her around this long, especially since his kids don’t like her, but that’s his decision. There’s obviously something about her that he likes. And most all of us that know the situation, cannot figure out what it is.

He’s asked her to move out, and it looks as if she’ll be moving out this weekend, but he doesn’t want their relationship to end. He just wants her to move somewhere else. I’m sure that’ll change. Once he sees what he gets when she’s gone, he’ll change his tune.

Guaranteed.

Song for Today

When I lose my smile
When my thoughts get jumbled
When the air and BS get too thick
Can’t take a breath without getting sick
I’ve had enough with this concrete jungle
I drop my truck in drive
I pick up my baby
She jumps in with a kiss and a hey
We exit off that old highway
Sometimes you gotta go beyond the pavement

[Chorus]
You gotta go deep
Way on back
Cross a few creeks
And a couple little shacks
You gotta get lost
Way on out
Crickets and frogs
Yeah you’re gettin’ close now
And you kick it into four wheel drive when you run out of road
And you go, and you go and you go-go-go
‘Til you hear a banjo

It ain’t on no map
And I’m glad it isn’t
Leave the phone and the GPS,
Those satellites ain’t found it yet,
Got our own little piece of heaven hidden

[Chorus]
Yeah, you gotta go deep
Way on back
Cross a few creeks
And a couple little shacks
You gotta get lost
Way on out
Crickets and frogs
Yeah you’re gettin’ close now
And you kick it into four wheel drive when you run out of road
And you go, and you go and you go-go-go
‘Til you hear a banjo

You gotta go deep
Way on back
Cross a few creeks
And a couple little shacks
You gotta get lost
Way on out
Crickets and frogs
Yeah you’re gettin’ close now
And you kick it into four wheel drive when you run out of road
And you go, and you go and you go and you go and you go
Oooh hoo
‘Til you hear that banjo
Kick it
You gotta go deep
Way on back
Oh oh oh
Cross a few creeks
And a couple little shacks
Oh oh oh
Four wheel drive when you run out of road
Oh oh oh
And you go and you go, and you go
‘Til you hear that, ‘til you hear that
‘Til you hear that banjo

Our new Beneful commercial

Here it is, y’all. One of our new commercials….

That’s Sarge. He’s our Boxer. He demands respect. And TOTALLY rocked this shoot. :-)

Upcoming commercial

Hi Y’all. Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday! Woot, woot. Isn’t that great? Isn’t it exciting that it’s almost the weekend? No work for TWO WHOLE DAYS! Yaaaaaaaaaay.

We just spent the last three weeks doing dog/puppy casting. We had to go outside of the studio animals in the business, and cast from what we call “private party owners”. It’s the same as people casting, only we have to deal with the OWNERS, too. And sometimes, animal owners can be … strange. This has been my experience, and agreeably, all the trainers as well. You can tell a lot about a person by their animals. Same is true about children, I suppose.

My job doesn’t entail any sort of training. Thankfully. My job is to help come up with an agreeable amount of money, and the perfect animal, to accomplish what they want. Cats running through a city street wearing clothes? Okay, that’ll be X amount of dollars. Dogs to act like circus animals in Minnesota? Cool. That’ll be X amount of dollars. Elephants trampling through Las Vegas for a Katy Perry music video? Yep, I’ll get right on it. Sometimes Boss#2 and I take a beating when it comes the production companies. They can be mean. Very mean. And they don’t know the first thing about animals and what it takes to get one of them to do anything, but they’ll try to convince you that they do. Studio trained animals are very different than privately owned pets, I promise.

The “product” people have finally cast the dogs and puppies. It’s going to be a big four day shoot, with LOTS of dog action. (I’ll share when it finally airs, don’t worry.)

Here are the puppies they chose. They’re both female. We have the pleasure of naming them, so several names ran through The Ranch. Some more hilarious than others.

Two finalist were: Oprah and Gail vs. Serena and Venus

I’ll let you know what names were finally chosen, tomorrow.

Pink & Black

Funny creatures us women are.

I’m sitting at work, and a coworker turns to me and says, “Check out THIS ring!” I was immediately drawn to it. For some strange reason, I think this wedding set, is fucking awesome.

14K Black Gold 3.0 Carat Pink Sapphire Solitaire and Wedding Ring Set – just under $4,000.

I’m clearly in no position to be shopping for wedding rings, nor is the woman that pointed this ring out to me, yet we still spent the next thirty minutes going through page after page of wedding rings. Some beautiful. Some not.

Okay, okay. Back to work.