Thursday, July 12, 2018

Catching up

Boy, oh boy, oh boy. I have soooo much that I want to write about, but just don’t really know how to go about it. I guess we will do a catchup post today.

+ My vacation was okay. It took me 14 hours to get there. I left on a Monday morning, so didn’t have much traffic. Pretty much the only other people on the road with me were truckers. Every big town I came to, either had already had their rush hour or hadn’t had it yet. On the drive home, I had a lot more traffic. Because of this, I stopped less often than I did going up. By doing that, I was able to keep it at 14 hours. It was great to see family. I spent some time with some distant family that was in town. That was nice.

+ I’ve mentioned before that my family isn’t perfect. We are all a bunch of crazies, and we all know it. Because of this, a fight must happen every time we are together. I call shit like I see it. I’ve said it before, I’ll call you out on your bullshit whether you want to hear it or not. And that, is exactly what I did. To my sister and my mom. I can only hope that one day they figure it out.

+ My mom has turned from a responsible adult, to an irresponsible teenager. She used to hold down a full-time job. She was director of human resources after working her way up from a part time secretary. She raised two daughters and ran our household. Now, she’s retired, dates a man that is a horrible influence on her, drinks alcohol like a fish, doesn’t take care of her diabetes like a responsible person should, and tells anyone that tries to intervene with her decisions, to get out of her life. She’s my mother, and I love her, but at some point, you just have to let them fuck up on their own. Unfortunately, the bad decisions she’s making, will lead to diabetes killing her.

+ My cat missed me so much while I was gone. SS says he was sitting in my seat often, which is something he never does. And, he has slept with me every night since I’ve been home. I love that he loves me.

+ Since the big blowout with my sister and mom, I went through all my social media accounts and deleted so many people. People that might possibly share information with them, that I don’t want them knowing. People that are negative about everything in their lives. People that won’t post anything but political shit. People that are so desperate for any kind of attention, they post half naked pictures of themselves. I mean, if you have to explain that “it’s just a bathing suit”, you’re a fucking slut and I don’t have any interest in following you. It’s an amazing feeling to be free of people that will drag me down. I also deleted the one person that didn’t like the fact that SS and I were getting married. If you can’t be happy for us, bye bye! We won’t even invite you to the wedding if you don’t want. Ha!

+ It’s wonderful to be home. The big giant hugs and kisses I got from SS when I came home, made me the happiest woman in the world. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that I can go away on a week long vacation, and still come back to a loving, and very understanding fiance. He really is the best and I’m extremely grateful for him every single day.

Okay, that’s enough. I’ve got stuff to do around the house. Can’t let this place get out of control. It’ll make me lose sleep.


Sunday, July 1, 2018

Much needed getaway

I’m getting away. Far away. 1,000 miles away to be exact.

It’s been very stressful around my house the last few weeks. Between the stress I was feeling at work and the stress of having a teenager around all the time that I don’t particularly get along with, I have just about reached my boiling over point. SS has seen me reach that point one time and vowed to never see it again. Because I love him and don’t intentionally want to hurt the person I’m going to marry, I’m going to use this week off, to take a road trip to visit my family. There didn’t need to be a fight, or a yelling match. I knew that when I was wishing people would die, it was time to get away and clear my head.
I battle demons inside me every day. Demons that tell me to call in sick to work. Demons that tell me I’m not good enough to do the job I’m doing. Demons that tell me I don’t deserve someone as wonderful as SS. Demons that tell me I’m not a good mother to RJ. Demons that tell me I’m just not worth it. But I fight through those demons every single day. Sometimes with ease. Sometimes I have to use my battle axe to beat him down.
Ever since my family moved out of state, I’ve had a very negative attitude towards them for it. Call it resentment. Call it jealousy. Maybe a little of both. Either way, I fucking miss the hell out of them and I need to see them. It’s very difficult to spend holiday after holiday with SS’s family, all the while, pretending that I don’t miss mine. They do their very best to make me feel like I’m not an outsider, but because of my own deep-seeded issues, it’s just not the same.
It will take me about 16 hours to get there. Since I’m driving alone, I’ll be taking my time, stopping to stretch when needed. I’ll be doing some major soul searching and mind cleaning. The feelings of anger that have overtaken me, need to be left on the side of a mountain. I will find that mountain. This trip is about me. It’s about finding my inner peace again and learning to not be so hard on myself. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even find some compassion along the way.
Stay tuned to hear about my travels, or follow along on my Instagram. It’ll be fun, I promise.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018


Just getting some random stuff off my chest.

+ I can’t wait until Senior season is over. I want to get back to my regular camera rig and little kids. T-minus 40 days and counting.

+ I miss RJ. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen him, and it’s only been three months. He’s turning 18 in less than a month, and I won’t get to spend it with him. As his mom, that breaks my heart. But, that’s just the situation this time. I’ve gotten to spend the last four years with him for his birthday, so I guess it’s okay. I guess.

+ SS’s 14 year old daughter has been with us for almost two weeks now. I have no idea how long she’s going to be with us this time. She makes it obvious she doesn’t want to be here. I can see it bothers SS, but 14 year olds don't typically give a shit about how their actions affect their parents. She’s no different.

+ I’m addicted to NCIS. This is serious. I don’t quite understand it myself, but it’s true. Any time I’m sitting in the living room with the tv on, I’m either watching a marathon on USA channel, or binge watching on Netflix. There are 15 seasons, so plenty of episodes to choose from. I’ve gone through all the seasons, at least four times. Seasons 14 and 15 are more recent, so haven’t watched those as many times. Besides, it hasn’t really been the same since Ziva and DiNozzo left, but I CAN’T STOP WATCHING.

SS and I are celebrating tonight, so headed out to sushi for dinner. Mmmm!

Monday, June 25, 2018


We’ve been dealing with Senior Portraits for over a week now, and for the most part, they’re awesome. The kids are really excited to see how great some of their pictures are coming out, so they’re friendly and happy and just overall wonderful to deal with.
Then I come home. GGGGRRRRRRR!!Steaming mad


But when you don’t, everyone else in the world that interacts with your brat, cusses you out and labels you a bad parent. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been somewhere, and heard people making remarks about how horrible of a parent someone must be, based solely on the way the teenager is acting. And you know what? I say it, too. If you’re a bad parent and raising a kid that is disrespectful and shouldn’t be leaving the house, then yes, I will call you out on it. And others should too. If you need a village to help raise your kid, then ask. Don’t screw the kid up trying to do it alone.
I once made a Mom in Target cry. Trust me, I’m not afraid of you.

Here’s another ridiculous thing we, as photographers, see all the time. It makes us cringe.

Enough from me today. I don’t feel like sharing anything else right now, so bye!

Friday, June 15, 2018

Senior Season is here

Senior Portraits are one of the most exciting things a high school senior will do. Some come in very excited to express who they are, in pictures, while others come in annoyed that they have to take another school photo they won’t buy.

That’s where I come in. It’s my job to make the student feel like having their picture taken, is an amazing experience and the outcome will be something both them and their parents will treasure forever. I can’t tell you how many Mommies come in and start crying when they see their baby taking senior portraits. Do you know how many times I’ve heard the phrase, “I can’t believe he’s a Senior already!”?

Here are a few examples of what we are doing….

+ Casual/Personality/Freestyle

+ Sports/Personality/Freestyle

+ Freestyle - using the Eyelighter (see the half moons in the eyes?)

+ Sports/Personality/Freestyle - using Split Lighting

+ Personality/Freestyle - using Monster lighting

+ Classic Portrait - using Short Loop lighting

Senior Portraits aren’t just “school photos”. They’re a statement. They are a culmination of who the student has become. They are the photos that will complete the entire series of school photos Moms and Dads around the world have been keeping since 1st grade. Allow them to have this. This is what they’ve been looking forward to for 12 years. Just let them have their moment.

There are so many different options for the type of photo to take and what kind of props to have. Let’s be real and honest about it here for a moment.

If the student plays a sport, have them take pictures with their equipment.
Are they in the band? Photos with instruments and letterman jackets are always popular.
Perhaps they’re just the school slut, and don’t have any extra curricular activities. I’d suggest maybe just taking Cap & Gown pictures, if that’s the case. I mean, there’s probably enough slutty photos of your kid floating around. Having them hanging in your house isn’t necessary.

In three days, Senior Season starts. We already have 50 students booked for day one, and it goes all the way through the beginning of August. Sessions take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours, depending on how many different looks they’re wanting. Some students will have 20 pictures to choose from, while some will only have four. Keep in mind, the more outfits you bring, the more photo options you get.

Looking at seven different high schools over the next six weeks, each with 500+ students.

Bring. It. On.