Thursday, September 6, 2018

Our first camping trip

A few weeks ago, I mentioned to SS that I really wanted to go camping. As much as we both loved doing it, I was confused that after 4.5 years together, we hadn’t yet gone. It had been over five years since I’d gone, and at least that long since he had. With the fast approaching extended Labor Day weekend coming up, we decided that was the perfect time to get away. So, we spent the better part of two days, going from store to store, and back, getting anything and everything we would need for it. $800 later, we were ready to camp.

SS took Friday off so that he could get everything packed and all the last minute stuff done (bank, gas, ice chest, etc.). We were on the road by 1:30p.

+ We set our tent up away from our table so that any bugs that surrounded the table, didn’t find interest in our shelter. 

+ Since California just can’t seem to stay out of the fire zone, campfires were not permitted in this forest. Thankfully, a friend of mine came through with a propane heater for which we were extremely grateful. Thanks Jeff!

+ We did some hiking and found this little message on the trail…

+ SS carved our initials in a fallen tree…

…and more hiking…

+ I don’t know what he was thinking about, but maybe it was about how much he loves me. Smile with tongue out

It was three nights and four days of quiet, peaceful, alone time.
We needed it. We wanted it. We did it.

Until next time…

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

August Photo Challenge

Okay, Y’all. We’ve done this several times before, so it needs no introduction, and you know the rules.

You can play along on Instagram or whatever social media platform you want.

Tag me so I can see what you’re posting.

Have fun!


Everyone has a want list, and I’m no different. Here’s a few things that are on my immediate want list:

These jeans are from Zumiez. I have only one pair of ripped jeans, so definitely need this pair. They’re not real expensive, which is another reason I’m shocked I haven’t bought them yet. Right now, I’m at a very awkward weight, so trying to decide which size to buy is making me hold off for now. Maybe they’ll be out of style by the time I decide. LOL!

This wrought iron cross from Walmart NEEDS to be in my house. It’s size is not too small, and I can even personalize it to have our last name. Perfect! So why haven’t I bought it yet? I have no excuse. I just haven’t.

This little machine from Target needs to be in my kitchen. When I was visiting my Aunt in Oregon a few weeks back, I watched my cousin chop up all kinds of things in this little contraption without any issue. All the times I make guacamole, or chop up garlic, this could make it so much easier. Where has this been all my life?

These bowls from Amazon tho. About five years ago, a coworker gave me a set of ceramic mixing bowls. Unfortunately, the big one broke, leaving me with two smaller bowls. Neither of which is big enough to mix a cake or brownies. So, this set is what I need. Ceramic breaks easy. Plastic gets cracks and deteriorates after time, breaking down into the food. No thanks. Stainless steel is where it’s at. Plus, non slip bottoms? Yes, please.

So, that’s it. Those are the items at the top of my must-have list.

Do you have a list? What are some of the items on your list?

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Catching up

Boy, oh boy, oh boy. I have soooo much that I want to write about, but just don’t really know how to go about it. I guess we will do a catchup post today.

+ My vacation was okay. It took me 14 hours to get there. I left on a Monday morning, so didn’t have much traffic. Pretty much the only other people on the road with me were truckers. Every big town I came to, either had already had their rush hour or hadn’t had it yet. On the drive home, I had a lot more traffic. Because of this, I stopped less often than I did going up. By doing that, I was able to keep it at 14 hours. It was great to see family. I spent some time with some distant family that was in town. That was nice.

+ I’ve mentioned before that my family isn’t perfect. We are all a bunch of crazies, and we all know it. Because of this, a fight must happen every time we are together. I call shit like I see it. I’ve said it before, I’ll call you out on your bullshit whether you want to hear it or not. And that, is exactly what I did. To my sister and my mom. I can only hope that one day they figure it out.

+ My mom has turned from a responsible adult, to an irresponsible teenager. She used to hold down a full-time job. She was director of human resources after working her way up from a part time secretary. She raised two daughters and ran our household. Now, she’s retired, dates a man that is a horrible influence on her, drinks alcohol like a fish, doesn’t take care of her diabetes like a responsible person should, and tells anyone that tries to intervene with her decisions, to get out of her life. She’s my mother, and I love her, but at some point, you just have to let them fuck up on their own. Unfortunately, the bad decisions she’s making, will lead to diabetes killing her.

+ My cat missed me so much while I was gone. SS says he was sitting in my seat often, which is something he never does. And, he has slept with me every night since I’ve been home. I love that he loves me.

+ Since the big blowout with my sister and mom, I went through all my social media accounts and deleted so many people. People that might possibly share information with them, that I don’t want them knowing. People that are negative about everything in their lives. People that won’t post anything but political shit. People that are so desperate for any kind of attention, they post half naked pictures of themselves. I mean, if you have to explain that “it’s just a bathing suit”, you’re a fucking slut and I don’t have any interest in following you. It’s an amazing feeling to be free of people that will drag me down. I also deleted the one person that didn’t like the fact that SS and I were getting married. If you can’t be happy for us, bye bye! We won’t even invite you to the wedding if you don’t want. Ha!

+ It’s wonderful to be home. The big giant hugs and kisses I got from SS when I came home, made me the happiest woman in the world. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that I can go away on a week long vacation, and still come back to a loving, and very understanding fiance. He really is the best and I’m extremely grateful for him every single day.

Okay, that’s enough. I’ve got stuff to do around the house. Can’t let this place get out of control. It’ll make me lose sleep.


Sunday, July 1, 2018

Much needed getaway

I’m getting away. Far away. 1,000 miles away to be exact.

It’s been very stressful around my house the last few weeks. Between the stress I was feeling at work and the stress of having a teenager around all the time that I don’t particularly get along with, I have just about reached my boiling over point. SS has seen me reach that point one time and vowed to never see it again. Because I love him and don’t intentionally want to hurt the person I’m going to marry, I’m going to use this week off, to take a road trip to visit my family. There didn’t need to be a fight, or a yelling match. I knew that when I was wishing people would die, it was time to get away and clear my head.
I battle demons inside me every day. Demons that tell me to call in sick to work. Demons that tell me I’m not good enough to do the job I’m doing. Demons that tell me I don’t deserve someone as wonderful as SS. Demons that tell me I’m not a good mother to RJ. Demons that tell me I’m just not worth it. But I fight through those demons every single day. Sometimes with ease. Sometimes I have to use my battle axe to beat him down.
Ever since my family moved out of state, I’ve had a very negative attitude towards them for it. Call it resentment. Call it jealousy. Maybe a little of both. Either way, I fucking miss the hell out of them and I need to see them. It’s very difficult to spend holiday after holiday with SS’s family, all the while, pretending that I don’t miss mine. They do their very best to make me feel like I’m not an outsider, but because of my own deep-seeded issues, it’s just not the same.
It will take me about 16 hours to get there. Since I’m driving alone, I’ll be taking my time, stopping to stretch when needed. I’ll be doing some major soul searching and mind cleaning. The feelings of anger that have overtaken me, need to be left on the side of a mountain. I will find that mountain. This trip is about me. It’s about finding my inner peace again and learning to not be so hard on myself. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even find some compassion along the way.
Stay tuned to hear about my travels, or follow along on my Instagram. It’ll be fun, I promise.