...walking on the beach and getting tackled in the surf.
...going to the movies.
…butterfly kisses from my son.
...passionate kisses that lead to much more.
...surprise lunch dates.
...singing loud to the radio in the car.
...that familiar touch at 3am.
…him.
No, no. I’m not seeing someone new so soon after a life changing breakup.
Over the last two months, the relationship between RJ and I has grown and developed into something I had always wanted. He talks to me. He tells me secrets he’s afraid to tell anyone else. He texts me all.the.time. now. He’s beginning to trust me again, and it’s wonderful.
Just as the race was beginning, he sent me a text. It’s almost on. Yay! Then he calls me to say hi. Then he says, Ok. I’m gonna go. Daddy turned the race on for me so I’m gonna go watch it. Love you.
I am in heaven. Nothing, not even the people that are coming in and out of our house today, can ruin this day. And I’m pretty sure nothing can make it better, either. It’s just a perfect day!
This morning when I woke up, I noticed I had a voicemail. (I've gotten real bad at checking voicemail. The only time I listen to them is when I get tired of seeing the voicemail symbol on my phone.) I don’t remember the phone ringing, but I don’t get great reception at home, so perhaps it never actually rang.
I had a voicemail from RJ. Hi mom, I just wanted to call and tell you I'm awake. I wasn't sure if you got my text. I love you.
Awesomest way to wake up!
i ♥ my life.
Yes, it’s true. The X has bought our 10-year-old son a phone.
He isn’t allowed to take it to school. He isn’t allowed to have it after a certain hour of the night. The X keeps hold of it during the hours RJ isn’t allowed to have it.
He is allowed to call me when he wants. He is allowed to text me when he wants. He is allowed to send me pictures, like this one…
..when he wants.
We did not have our visit today. LZ had her bridal shower today, so I was in attendance there. RJ understood.
Kyle Busch won the Truck race on Friday night.
Kyle Busch won the Nationwide race Saturday. (Led all 200 laps, ba-beee!!)
All this winning makes me want to go out and celebrate.
Good luck in the Sprint Cup race tomorrow, Kyle.
Ugh.
RM#1 and I are renters of the house we live in. Today, she gets a phone call from the owner saying they’re coming by today with a realtor to put up a For Sale sign. Um, what? People are going to be coming in and out of our house during the day? Are you kidding me???????? Heck no. Not gonna happen. No sir re.
RM#1 had a realtor of her own, as she was looking to buy her first home recently. After what she considers a “bad experience”, she fired her realtor and hasn’t been looking for houses since. As far as I know.
I don’t know why I got instantly stressed. Is it because I might need to move quicker than I had planned? Is it because I know for certain I can’t move all this stuff myself? I should be looking at it with a completely different set of eyes.
I can start over in a completely different place. New place, new people, new start in life. Life can be so different, if I allow it to. :-)
I wanted the next time I had to move, to be so different. I can’t tell you what I mean about that, but know that this, wasn’t how I wanted things to end.
Stay tuned…we’ll see where this story goes in a few days.
Being alone. Does it make you happy or sad? Sometimes I’m really excited when I have an entire day to myself. Sometimes I sit on the floor and lean against my bed and cry, because being alone for one more second is more than I can bear.
This morning when I turned down my road to work, I saw this horse. There was a group of horses and cows to the left about 500 feet, but for some reason, this horse was off on his own. I wonder why. Today, I feel like this horse.
-val
Today, I turned my radio off the country station for the first time in over 15 years. Some of the music on the other stations is a little hard to swallow, but it was easier than listening to the songs that forced me to replay memories I am trying to move away from.
This song…
is stuck in my head. I ♥ it!
…I lost it. For the first time since the breakup, I cried. I had to pull into a parking lot and park my car, because I knew I couldn't safely drive.
I don’t know why I cried. It wasn’t one specific thing that sparked a tear. I just know that all-of-a-sudden, that familiar faucet was running.
When I was done, i wiped my eyes, put my sunglasses back on, and said out loud…
Stop crying. It’s better this way. All involved are happier.
I turned my car back on and drove off. Into the sun, on a beautiful day.
In North Dakota
Sunday. The day of the week I look forward to the most. The moment when I watch 43 drivers climb into their rocket machines and get to drive at amazingly fast speeds. Am I jealous? You bet.
Every time we start the race season, we talk about Dale Earnhardt. Every time we race at Daytona, we talk about Dale Earnhardt. I was never a Dale Earnhardt fan, but I do have a lot of respect for what he brought to this sport. He was an amazing driver, but let’s move on.
Brad Paisley. Oh dear. You sucked! Dierks Bentley. Your racing rendition of Sideways was awesome. I’d like to have a copy of that rendition on my iPod. Martina McBride. A job well done on the National Anthem. You can have Christina Aguilera’s job.
**Pause. Time to run out and get something to eat.
I.LOVE.THE.NAPA.COMMERCIALS. Michael Waltrip and Martin Truex Jr. are so funny.
“Gentlemen! Start Your Engines!”
The three NASCAR Transformers cars were awesome! I’ve never seen any of the Transformer movies, but if they have cars in it anything like the cars in Death Race, maybe I’ll have to look into renting the movies. Maybe.
Lap 3: Silence. As I sit and stare at my television, watching every single person in the stands give Dale Earnhardt the #3 salute, a tear rolls down my cheek. It’s quickly wiped away when Kyle Busch spins, though.
Hahaha @ Kyle Busch’s M&M commercial. Hahaha. Greatest one yet. Watch it.
Kevin Harvick blows an engine? Wow. Never see that happen to him. I’ll just chalk it up to payback for beating Mark Martin for a photo finish at the Daytona 500 in 2007.
Oh no! BIG WRECK! Lots of cars involved. I’m happy Kyle wasn’t involved in it, but bummed that Mark Martin was. :-(
Why are there so may pizza commercials during a NASCAR race? Are there even any pizza sponsors?
Jeff Burton loses an engine. Bummer.
Brad Keselowski hits the wall! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Goodbye!
I can’t believe how well Dale Jr. is driving. I’ve never seen him drive like this. Is it a fluke on a newly paved track, or will this finally be a year that fans can be proud of their favorite driver?
With just a few laps left, and Kyle flirting with first place, I’m up on my feet cheering. Caution. Whew! A breather for my favorite driver as he barely squeaks past a wreck.
And it’s over. The 53rd running of the Daytona 500 is in the books, and 20 year old Trevor Bayne wins the race ON HIS FIRST TRY, and the day after his birthday. Youngest driver ever. Congrats to him!
Back pain. One of the most annoying and debilitating pains.
A few days ago, a sharp pain entered my back with a strong force. I don’t know where it came from, what caused it, or how to get rid of, but it’s been nothing but a nuisance. I can’t stand up straight while I walk, I sit different in my car, and sleeping in difficult.
I’ve been taking Ibuprofen like a mad woman, but not once have I felt it relieve any of the pain. I have a very weak stomach when it comes to taking Vicodin or Darvocet, so my pain relief options are limited. SQUID tells me to lay down flat on my back and pull my knees to my chest one at a time. Yeah right! I know exactly what that will feel like, and “OUCH!” is what I can say to that.
I’m not sure how long this pain will last, but I hope it doesn’t last long. It prevents me from doing lots of things I’m used to doing, and my laundry basket won’t pick up itself.
Anyone have any ideas? I’m a big wuss when it comes to pain, so this is almost crippling.
Today when I received the call sheet for a job we are shooting tomorrow, I wanted to jump on the phone and tell you who was going to be there. But then I remembered I couldn’t. So I didn’t.
Wow. What a week.
Monday: Valentine's Day. It's never been a day I've swooned over, and this year was no exception. I got to work Monday morning to find this cute little note on my computer screen.
Thank you, Deb. You made my day! That night, I took work home and counted the minutes of overtime I was accumulating. Fun.
Tuesday: A fairly quiet day, yet I still managed to stress myself out at work. Some days are just more than I think I can handle.
Wednesday: I should have known it was going to be a bad day when the total of my breakfast came out to be $6.66.
Later that day, I found out some news that has since left me in a state of abandonment, yet again. I will not take full responsibility for it, but I know there are a few people who stalk this blog that think differently. And you know what? I finally don't care.
Thursday: A bit of a struggle. Getting out of bed was particularly rough, but I did it. I fought the idea of taking a shower, but eventually gave in to the thought of hot water after I forced RM#1 to kick my butt into gear. I continued to struggle throughout the day. Words of encouragement from others were nice, but didn't help the fact that I just wanted to push everything out of my mind and go about my day. Stop bringing it up, people. I'm doing a really good job at not letting it get to me. I stopped after work to have my nailed done. Wanna see?
Friday: Soooooooo glad the week is over. Boom!! Got hit with a request to babysit a friends daughter. Not exactly how I was planning on spending my Friday night, but at least it kept me out of trouble. Four year old little girls are so great. Their imagination is so refreshing. I mean, come on. Who else knows every.single.thing. about every princess? Her innocence is so beautiful, it makes her glow.
Stay tuned…Saturday I play Uno with RJ.
I guess that leaves Jeff Gordon (#24) and Kurt Busch (#22), in positions two and three, to bring the field into turn one at NASCAR’s most famous track.
4. #31 Jeff Burton
I am thrilled to see one of my favorite guy in the top 10, and equally as thrilled to see Michael Waltrip in there.
A strong congrats goes out to Michael Waltrip for winning the truck race tonight. He claims his first Truck Series victory 10 years to the day after his first Daytona 500 victory and on the anniversary of his former boss' death. <insert applause here>
Good luck to Mark Martin, Kyle Busch, and Michael Waltrip. Please do well this year so that Jimmie Johnson fans will shut up!
In North Carolina
I’ve received my first Valentine’s Day gift of 2011. And it couldn’t have been from anyone better. My RJ. (the flower pot says Mom)
This weeks lunch was Subway. We shared a foot long Italian BMT. I’d never had one before, and don’t typically eat an entire sandwich myself, so I went ahead and ate the second half of what he wanted. It was pretty good, if it hadn’t been toasted. But that’s the way he liked it, so that’s the way we ate it. :-)
Last week he mentioned playing Life. He seemed pretty disappointed that the “place” didn’t have the game anymore, so I went out and bought it. (I’m such a sucker.) I spent a bit of time this morning opening the box and unwrapping all the money, tearing apart the little buildings to attach to the board, and placing all the stickers on the bridges. It was fun, and it totally had me psyched to play. After lunch, we sat down and played. And you know what? He beat me! Fair and square. He beat me. I couldn’t believe it.
As soon as he won the game was over, so was our visit. Always seems to go so fast. :-(
Stay tuned. Next week, he wants to play UNO. :-)
In New York
I dislike professional football. Growing up, my parents watched it on Sundays. And Monday nights. And Thursday nights (if there was a game on). And Saturdays (again, if there was a game on). I hated it. On the weekends I was with my dad, I’d come home Sunday night and go straight to my room because I didn’t want to sit in the living room with my parents and watch football. Despite my many attempts to get them to believe me, they still thought I was being antisocial. Sigh.
I went to a Chiefs vs. Broncos game with my parents and uncle when I was fourteen. I enjoyed the energy I felt from the people around me, the excitement of the crowd when the home team scored and the typical ballpark food, but the slow play of the game was boring. Painfully boring.
The X loves football (Cowboys fan), so for the 10 years we were together, football would be on the living room TV on Sundays. And Monday nights. And Thursday nights (if there was a game on). And Saturday (again, if there was a game on). I still hated it.
Today, I still dislike professional football. I do not watch any of the games during the season, so I don’t watch the final game of the season.
So, here’s to funny Super Bowl commercials. *Cheers*
“If dolphins are really trying to communicate with humans, why don’t they just use Facebook? Duh.” - Allyson
All week long, I look forward to my two hours of visitation with RJ. Neither one of us is overly joyed to have to sit in a room and be monitored, but rules are rules. I’m optimistic that one day it’ll be different.
Each week I bring him something different for lunch. This week it was peanut butter & jelly. Because I’m a cool Mom, I made shapes. R=RJ, V=me, FOOTBALL=Super Bowl tomorrow, BONE=Dogs at my work. He loved it!
This was our entire lunch. 4 pb&j sandwiches, pb&j shapes, 2 bags of chips, grapes, strawberries, milk, and iced tea. Mmm.
Then we played Yahtzee. Once I rolled two Yahtzee’s, he was done. When he’s not winning, he gets angry. We’re working on changing this behavior. :-)
Look at this lame bowl. This sad Tupperware bowl is the bowl I used to use at work all the time. I’m a big fan of this soup, and I’ve been known to make Easy Mac and Spaghetti O’s in this bowl as well.
BFF at work always gives me a hard time about it. He has a very strong dislike for this bowl. Every time he washes it for me, he makes a comment about how much I need a new one. Well, I got to work Monday morning to find a new bowl on my desk with a note attached. Happy Monday.
Thank you BFF @ work!
In New Mexico
