About eight years ago, during a shopping trip to the local Target, I picked up this awesome pink notebook…
When I saw it, the only thought that went through my head was, “This will be the book I write all my first year experiences in, when I have my next baby.” And I was confident it would be a girl. Everything about me says I don’t have any business talking about babies, especially at that time, but I couldn’t just walk past this notebook. Just in case.
It has sat on a shelf ever since. Untouched. Out of danger of damage. And still blank.
This morning as I was looking for something specific on the bookshelf that is in RJ/Lil’ SS/Guest room, I saw the notebook. As I pulled it out, the realization that perhaps it wouldn’t ever be used for the purpose I had in mind, was a face slapping realization. It stung. And it left a mark.
After I gathered my emotions and wiped away the few tears that had fallen, I stuffed the notebook into a box in my closet, and shut the door.
There will come a time when I’ll know exactly what to do with it, so until then, it’ll stay right where it is. Out of sight, out of mind.