A few passing thoughts...

...when someone is on my mind, it's sometimes hard for me to stay focused on what I need to be focused on.

...sometimes, you can't help who you fall in love with. sometimes there is no rhyme or reason, it just happens. without you being aware. and it can be shocking. and a bit scary. and sometimes i want to deny it, to myself, because i'm just not sure it's "right".

...chartering unfamiliar territory, is scary for me. especially when i cannot control the outcome.

...i haven't had a good cry in months. haven't had a reason to. things are just fine for me. and i like that.

...i'm a little nervous about moving, but i'm excited about the new bedroom furniture we're getting.

Awake.

It’s 4:20am and I’m awake. I’m awake because I’m sad. I’m sad for bff@work. Yesterday, his wife went into a coma. Doc came to the house and said, “any time now”. I’m sad because he’s sad.

I can tell things are different by the way his texts come across. His wording is different. Almost as if someone else is texting for him. It’s a bit of an uneasy feeling to all of a sudden be talking to someone you don’t know. Someone you have no connection to. It’s strange.

I’ve never lost someone close to me, other than my grandparents, so I’m not real good at “handling death” etiquette. I offer to be there for him and his family, to help with anything they need, to just be a shoulder to cry on, because that’s all I know to do. Will they ask for my help? Probably not. I’m nobody to them. Just a coworker.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Miscommunication

Why is it, that when depression hits, I tell people I’m just tired?

Meet…

Hoggle

Remember THIS post? Well, I finally picked a name.

This is how Hoggle looks at night. Even with our front porch light on, he still puts off a descent amount of light. Enough to get me up the front steps.

I love him. He will look great at the new house. :-)

Happy Weekend

Today…

I woke up to the beautiful sounds of the parakeets chirping in the backyard. (Kyle is a MUCH more chatty bird than Kurt.) I sat in the backyard, just as the sun was coming up, and chatted with an early morning visitor. It was just before 6am, and I was eager to start my day.

We had big plans.

I packed up a weekends worth of clothes, and this cool present, and hopped in the car. Off we went…

Helloooooooooooooooo Santa Barbara. Oh how I’ve missed you.

We took a trip around the pier… (got up close and personal with a few flighty friends)

…and under the pier (*wink wink*).

I had a few too many pineapple drinks at one of my favorite restaurants…

…we studied about sharks…. (these are sharks inside an egg case. they were attached to a sack, with an umbilical cord and all, and were moving around. I kick myself for not taking video.)

…and then just sat on the beach. And relaxed. And talked. And people watched. And talked some more. And laughed. And hugged. And laughed some more.

We got back in the car, drove about 30 minutes, and had dinner. Carne Asada…why have I not been eating this EVERY time I go out? Yummy!!

And I got a brand new sweatshirt out of it…..

I love days off. And I love spending them at the beach even more.

Live & Learn

As I get older and my relationships with people change, I learn more and more. I don't just go through life taking for granted everything that happens and never learning from mistakes or wrong decisions I've made. It's not how I was raised, and it's not how I've lived my life thus far.

The very first time I met JK, he got me into trouble at work. It was minor, and I laugh about it today, but it was trouble nonetheless. Perhaps it was his way of saying "notice me". Who knows. Whatever it was, I remember thinking to myself, "Why has this person been put into my life?" After six very long and exhausting years, I was finally able to answer that question.

The very first time I met Squid, I laughed. My then stepdaughters and I continually made fun of his nickname and couldn't believe this was the guy Sis was dating. I even remember saying to one of my stepdaughters, "I hope he's not around long." It's been seven years, and every day I'm reminded about how grateful I am to have him still in my life today. 

The very first time I met bff@work, he came into my office being loud and obnoxious, demanding something I couldn't provide to him. I was annoyed and remember thinking, "What did I do NOW?" Four years later, I have that answer too.

My point is, it may not be right away, but eventually there does come a time when things just become obvious. And I like that. It's so much easier to understand something when the answers are right in front of me. Sometimes, and only sometimes, I'm just not smart enough to figure it out on my own.

-v

Just sayin’

 

 

Retrieve

Can YOUR cat do this?

 

How about your DOG?

This seems like a small, no big deal thing right now, but when she’s carrying around house slippers in an episode of Modern Family, it’ll be cute. (That is NOT an upcoming episode. Just an example.) For now, she thinks it’s a game. And it’s fun, cause she gets a treat for it.

Big changes coming up. I can’t wait to tell you about them.

Stay tuned…

A new friend

It’s been a rough couple of months for bff@work. Ever since he was told his wife was dying from liver disease, the stress, loss of sleep, and constant concern have taken its toll. He’s tired.

A few days ago, I sat and listened to him talk. For hours. I listened to him share genuine concerns for his and his children’s futures. He’s more scared than he wants to admit. And he knows I know it.

A surprise knock on my front door today made me smile. I received this gnome. A thank you gift.

I’m excited to see how the solar part of it works. And he needs a name. Any suggestions?

Happy Friday!

4:19 - incoming text: “I’ll be there in 7 minutes. just crossing the intersection.”

4:23 - phone rings: “I won’t be there. Just totaled my car. I’m bleeding, but feel fine. Car is smashed. My fault. Gotta go. Will call you back soon.”

This was a moment in time that seemed to stand still. For the next five minutes, everything happened in slow motion. Images of body parts laying on the floorboard of the driver side, flashed through my head as I tried to gain some sort of composure. I was, after all, still at work.

Tears started streaming down my face. A couple of coworkers tried to console me, but the irrational thoughts and fears had already taken up residence inside my mind. I wanted to drop everything and drive down there, but knew I’d just be in the way.

I phoned a friend to help calm my nerves. One I knew would be rational. Naturally she was concerned, but once she realized he was okay, her focus turned to what was actually making me so uneasy about it. Would I have reacted this way if it had been the guy I went out with last night? What about if it had been the person I met at the bowling alley last week? Probably not. And then she said it. She said those words that I never in a million years thought for one second anyone would ever say to me.

You love him, Val!

A phone call about 20 minutes later, put a little bit of relief to the situation. The ambulance had already been there to check him out. The car was up on the flatbed and being taken away. His dad showed up to take him home.

Know how many people in his family knew? None. Two phone calls were made. One to me and one to his dad.

I’m so happy he’s okay.

 

 

Dear bff@work: if anything happens to you, I’ll be real mad, please take care of yourself.

Bazinga!

Do you watch The Big Bang Theory?

If you don’t, you should. It’s freakin’ hilarious.

If you do watch it, you’re familiar with this scene…

“Cats make wonderful companions. They don’t argue or questions my intellectual authority.”

Know who’s cats those are?

Yep. Ours. Actually, it was another animal company’s job, but they used our cats because we have the best ones in the business. Just look at the white cat asleep behind Sheldon on the couch. What animal does that on SET? With people walking around? And making noise? And cameras rolling?

The one he’s holding, that he so affectionately named Zazzles, is actually Baxter. He’s been in A LOT of stuff. He’s a superhero cat. :-)

Anyway, check it out. There are reruns that come on all the time on a few different channels. Watch it! And then let me know what you think about it.

Busy.

Hi Readers. How’s things with you?

‘Member how I told you RM#2 was in France shooting a movie? Well, RM#1 has decided to go visit him for ten days. Guess who gets the house to herself for that time?

Me.

Cool right? Well, with that comes responsibilities I don’t normally have. Like…

Feeding and giving water to the hawk: (who at times, scares the crap out of me)

Feeding and giving water to the raven: (who ALWAYS scares me cause he tries to attack anyone that isn’t RM#2)

Feeding and giving water to the three parakeets:

And I can’t forget…

Feeding, taking care of, and picking up after, these three brats:

Watering the flowers in the front and back yards by hand is tiresome, but they sure are pretty looking.

Around the house, I’m doing the job of two other people. Two other ANIMAL people. It’s exhausting, but I’m not complaining.

 

I’ve gotten myself into a food funk lately. Been eating processed, fast-food for a loooooong time. I eat drive-thru, normally, three meals a day, five to six days a week. The other times, I’m eating warmed up hotdogs or tv dinners. Enough is enough.

Went to the grocery store the other day and said, “I’m buying food with sustenance. I’m finally going to ‘cook’”.

I walked up and down each isle, slowly studying the items on the shelves. I was secretly hoping I would look at an item and immediately know what I would cook with it. Unfortunately, the harder I tried to do that, the more frustrated I got. My plan to buy healthier food was unraveling.

I enlisted the help of Sis. One of the few people I know that loves to cook equally as much as I love to watch NASCAR. I dragged her back to the store with me, and told her to “help me shop for foods I’ll cook, keeping in mind my now busy schedule and lack of desire to cook.”

We walked up and down every isle, just as I had done before, but this time, menu items were jumping at me. One idea after another was laid before me, with little or no effort. I was amazed.

I started to get excited, thinking about all the things she was telling me I could do with this or that. It was as if I was learning to live independently for the first time. It was if, I was growing up. Again.

Two hundred plus dollars later, I had a refrigerator, a freezer, and my cabinet, filled with food. And I was anxious to start doing something with it.

The bbq grill (the one that belongs to Rhondi), was calling my name. So, we stood outside and grilled up stuff for me to take for lunches this week. Yay for exciting variety and SUSTENANCE.

Perhaps maybe now I will put on a few pounds. We’ll see…

It’s time to turn on NASCAR. Bye!