I, am a Wheat Thins girl. I love the baked little snack and could, on any day, be seen eating an entire box. These, are my weakness.
HOWEVER….
The Multi-Grain version of these fabulous little snacks, MUST GO! I can taste the hint of the regular, but the overpowering taste of the grain, is just too much. I dislike.
With 19 different flavors, I’m bound to not like at least one. What about you?
I never, ever, in a million, bazillion years, thought I’d ever say those words to him. Never. Never thought I’d even THINK those words, let alone say them and actually MEAN them. Even as I sit here typing them, I wish I didn’t have to say them. But, I live in reality, and just have to be honest with myself. He’s asked me to leave, so I will. I may leave with my tail between my legs, my head down like a cowered dog, and whimpering, but I’ll leave knowing I did the best I could with what I am. After all, I’m just Val.
I gave it the best shot *I* knew how, but it wasn’t good enough for his high standards. Oh well. I’m not going to be someone I’m not. I’m not going to be someone he wishes I’d be like. I hate the people he wants me to be like, so I’m not for one second going to even entertain the idea of it.
Pictures and anything that will trigger a tear, have come down and been put away. <insert teardrop> Tucked away with all the other ‘lost and forgotten’ stuff. It’ll collect dust, and eventually I’ll run across it and say “I don’t need this stuff anymore”, just like I’ve done with so many other things from my past over the last year, and toss it all.
Time to stop burying myself in the false hope that by some chance or miracle of God, he’ll come swoop me off my feet, and tell me how much he can’t live without me and all my flaws. Truth is, he wouldn’t “swoop” anyway, so it ain’t happening regardless.
I’ve finally thrown my hands up, turned around, and taken a few steps. I glanced over my shoulder to see if there was a slight chance I read him wrong, and he didn’t want me to leave, but the sharpness of his finger, as he pointed “away”, said it all. There’s nothing more I can do. He’s asked me to leave.
I.Give.Up. :’-(
In Idaho
Okay. That’s my bad Forrest Gump impression. Deal with it.
When I got home from work today, I was feeling a bit upset. Sad about a few things, stressed about a few others, and scared about something completely different. I needed to clear my head, so I put on my walkin’ shoes, grabbed my iPod, and out the door I went. Be back in a while. I’m going for a walk, I say to RM#1, who seemed shocked and quite surprised.
I set my iPod to shuffle, stepped down my front doorstep, gave a quick “howdy” to Gustav, and away I went. I didn’t look back. I looked straight ahead, at the long road I’d be walking down, and said, Here goes. This will be good for you. You’ll see.
I didn’t have a set length or time in mind, so I just walked. I walked to the end of my street, but wasn’t ready to turn back. I got to the edge of my neighborhood, and still wasn’t ready to turn back. I passed a friends house, waved, and kept walking. I got to the main street and said, I’m still not ready to turn back. So, I kept walking. I walked, and walked, and walked, till my legs started to finally hurt. Problem now is, the only way back to my house is ALL UP HILL! Ohhhh Emmmm Geeeeee @ the big ass hill I stared up at. As I approached the street I’d need to turn up, I quickly assessed out in my head whether or not I should go up the hill or turn around and go back the way I came. Ha. Like I’m really going to turn back.
I continued on, up the hill. About 6-7 houses up, I said, Hmm. This isn’t as bad as I thought, and kept going. This hill, is a GIANT hill, made up of several other small hills, so once I was up and over the first hill, THERE WERE MORE!
I finally reached the top of the top, turned myself 90*, and stared directly at my house. Home Sweet Home, Oh how I’ve missed you.
It took me 55 minutes to walk almost 3 miles. Yay me! Bring on tomorrow. I’m ready (if my legs don’t give out on me in the morning).
Oh! And while I was walking, an Evo was passing by. You better believe I shouted, “EEE-VO!”
This song brings back some fond memories, and if for one second, you tell me you don’t know the lyrics, I will be saddened. I’m not an EJ fan in any way, shape, or form, but I know ALL the lyrics. Sing along. It’s a great song.
I’m sure I’ll get some sort of comments from the peanut gallery about the lyrics being so appropriate or right on. Grr @ people who are right. (Liz - the funny dancing he does at 1:42 is for you.)
I've always said that one's enough to love
Now I hear you're bragging one is not enough
Something tells me you're not satisfied
You got plans to make me one of four or five
I guess this kind of thing's just in your blood
But you won't catch me carving up my love
I ain't no puzzle piece that needs to fit
If it takes more than me let's call it quits
`Cause I don't wanna go on with you like that
Don't wanna be a feather in your cap
I just wanna tell you honey I ain't mad
But I don't wanna go on with you like that
It gets so hard sometimes to understand
This vicious circle's getting out of hand
Don't need an extra eye to see
That the fire spreads faster in a breeze
And I don't wanna go on with you like that
Don't wanna be a feather in your cap
I just wanna tell you honey I ain't mad
But I don't wanna go on with you like that
No I don't wanna go on with you like that
One more set of boots on your welcome mat
You'll just have to quit them if you want me back
`Cause I don't wanna go on with you like that
Oh if you wanna spread it around sister that's just fine
But I don't want no second hand feeding me lines
If you wanna hold someone in the middle of the night
Call out the guards, turn out the light
And I don't wanna go on with you like that
Don't wanna be a feather in your cap
I just wanna tell you honey I ain't mad
But I don't wanna go on with you like that
No I don't wanna go on with you like that
One more set of boots on your welcome mat
You'll just have to quit them if you want me back
`Cause I don't wanna go on with you like that
I’ve been trying for a week. I sit down, write the salutation, jot down a few words to start the email, and then delete it. Grr. The words just aren’t flowing. Am I unsure of what to say? Am I searching for words that have long passed and just aren’t good enough anymore? Am I afraid I’ll get a reaction I’m not prepared for? Am I afraid I’ll get no reaction at all? I’m lost for words, but need to find them quickly. I don’t have a lot to say, I just want to make it short and simple. I don’t want to fight, or accuse, or bring up the dreaded past, or even make a joke. I just want to say what I have to say, and be done with it. Something simple, cause after all, I’m simple.
-Val
"Don't expect your spouse to be perfect. Remember if they were, they might not have married you."
~ Gary Chapman
…THIS is what a burnout should look like. Burn the tires, shred them, whatever. Just make lots of smoke. We like that.
At my heaviest weight during my pregnancy, I was 158lbs. Before that, I was a whopping 107. (I have a photo somewhere around here.)
RM#1 came home from the ranch yesterday and said, “I saw MF (she’s a WE I see once every three or four months and happened to have seen the day prior) today and she said, “I saw Val yesterday and she looks so thin. Is she okay?” RM#1 told her I’d been sick recently, but other than that, no weight changes.
See! This is what happens when I wear clothes that are fitting. When I’m at home, I tend to dress like I’m at home. I’m relaxed, and not often seen wearing anything but sweat pants and a wife beater. When I’m heading to the ranch during the day, I’m dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. In the winter, a sweatshirt or jacket is a must for me. Under all that, you can’t see the skinny little me that exists.
I don’t eat healthy. I don’t eat vegetables. I eat a lot of pasta and LOVE bread. I enjoy a good salad every few days, but it’s always covered in Thousand Island or Ranch dressing, and the only kind of lettuce I’ll eat is Iceberg. Not exactly the healthiest salad. There are weeks I’ll eat nothing but fast food. (Note: when I eat fast food, it’s often I don’t eat the entire meal. fries aren’t something I typically finish, and if I get a burger of some sort, I never finish it.) I don’t drink a lot of sodas. I probably have two Cokes a week. The rest of the time, it’s water or iced tea (no lemon, no sweetener). I don’t eat sugary sweets. Donuts, once every four or five months. Candy, once a month. Cookies, once a month.
So, please, the next time you see me, know that I’m not doing anything shady in order to stay under 110lbs. The 108 lbs I currently am, is the same I’ll continue to average. It’s the way I’m built. About a year ago, I think I topped 114. There are a few things different today that I could blame for the drop in weight, but in reality, I’m just thin. I can’t change it. Love me or hate me, it is who I am.
Happy Sunday!
In Georgia
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
3 things i hate:
3 things that make me sad:
3 things i love:
I recently visited a supermarket I’d never been. Okay, to be honest, I’d never even heard of this store, but there it was, in a huge shopping center, calling my name. As I walked through, my attention was quickly diverted to a cooler stocked full of Big Red. I immediately shuttered and said Ew. That drink finally made it out of Texas, huh? Gross.
I just wanted to share with everyone, how overly happy I am that it’s the weekend. Yay for sleeping in past 8am.
LOL @ Kyle Busch for getting his rental car stuck in the sand. Kevin Harvick (in the yellow hat) looking on.
Haha.
It happened again. Today. I saw the car that haunts my life. (story here.)
I see it almost every day, but today, it pulled up next to me, and parked. *Deep breath* I’ll be honest, it freaked me out a bit. My heart skipped two beats, and then skipped two more, until I saw the man get out of his car. His tall slim build, dark hair, glasses, and slight pot belly, sent my heart racing. I couldn’t deal with it. My heart was actually causing my chest to hurt, so I quickly changed gears and drove away.
In nine months, LZ and Squid will be getting married. He will be in attendance, and believe me when I say I’m so not prepared to handle that. I want nothing more than to have photos of LZ walking down the isle in her beautiful wedding dress, but there’s not anything I can do about the man that will be walking with her. It’s not my wedding, so my opinions have no merit, and my sanity, for one day, will be put on the tailgate of a pickup truck and bounced off ever so lightly as I drive to the ceremony. I will hold my head up high, have the time of my life, and show him exactly who I’ve become and how happy I am, without him in my life.
Now, to find a date. Such dilemmas.
-Val
A few days ago, I accidentally deleted ALL the previously recorded stuff on the DVR of a friend. For this, I will forever be sorry. If I had not been so irritated about something else, I wouldn’t have been huffing and puffing and blowing houses down and flipping ever so carelessly through the DVR menu. I apologize again. :-(
(this is not the actual DVR menu)
Today, I called a friend and thanked her for always being my friend. Through the good times, the bad times, and the hundreds of miles that kept us apart, she never judged. She loved. I aspire to be like her one day.
Tonight, I cooked dinner for the neighborhood girl across the street. She sat in the kitchen, playing an old Dixie Chicks song from RM#1’s laptop, while watching and talking to me as I cooked. We laughed. A lot. We sat together, ate, and told stories. It was fun. She’s five.
The day was successful, even if I woke up with a completely different outlook. A crappy day was avoided with the help of a few unsuspecting WE’s.
There are very few things in the world more beautiful than sun rays glowing down upon a flowing stream.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
…the most perfect little boy, was born. Ten years later, perfect isn’t exactly what comes to mind, but he’s pretty damn close.
From this….
…to this…
…to this…
…to this…
I ♥ you, RJ!
Happy 10th Birthday!
Today, as I was pulling up to my house, I could see that the blinds in the front window were separated, and knew the only thing (person or animal) that could, or even would, be causing this, had to be Xena. As I pulled in, my suspicions were confirmed, and a barking fit ensued between 3 dogs (two of which think they’re bigger than they are).
I love coming home to her. She jumps on you, and licks you, and genuinely wants you to play with her. She’s cuddly, and warm, and lovable. She’s old (13), yet is keen enough to know exactly when I need a hug. She can be two rooms away, and as soon as I start crying, I hear her prancing down the hall. Before I know it, she’s trying to lick the tears off my face. She just cares and I love that.
*Note: Gustav is doing well. His little lantern eats batteries like you wouldn’t believe, so it’s not often I turn him on. (Picture below for those who can’t access the link.)
Two names I never thought in a bazillion years I’d say in the same sentence, John Anderson & LeAnn Rimes.
One of my all time favorite country songs from the 80’s is Swingin’ by John Anderson. His jaw-dropping country voice won me over the very first time I heard him sing it. I can recall dancing around my room, listening to this song over, and over, and over again.
Twenty-seven years later, (that’s right now) LeAnn Rimes released a cover version. *Shudder* It’s no secret. I dislike LeAnn Rimes very much. I don’t care who you are, it’s not ever okay to cheat on a spouse. Ever. Ever. Ever.
That being said, GIRL GOT THIS SONG GOIN’ ON! She did a phenomenal job. While listening to it, I got so caught up in the song, I forgot it was LR singing. Thank goodness. :-)
Despite my dissatisfaction with her life choices, I’m pleased she covered this song. Well done. I give it a thumbs up. But shhh! I’m still not a fan of LR.
John Anderson’s version
LeAnn Rimes’ version
Listen to both, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not pay attention to the video of LR. She’s a horrible actress, this I know. I want to know your opinion on the song, not start WWIII over her dancing skills (or lack thereof). Do you agree that she did the former #1 song justice? Tell me your thoughts.
…I enjoy watching mindless television, just so I can stop thinking about everything else. Even if it’s for 19 minutes.
