Another year has passed

It’s been four years since we started this little journey of ours, and every day when I wake up, I am thankful he chose me. He’s been an amazing friend and partner, and I love him more and more every day.

Here’s to several more years…

When the love of a dog takes the pain away

Pain. It can be described in so many ways. A physical suffering. An emotional suffering. Or even a laborious effort that sometimes goes unnoticed. No matter the way you feel it, it’s real, and it’s in everyone.

I went in to the doctor for a female procedure yesterday, and the cramping it causes, is painful. Not so painful that I walk hunched over like an old man with weights in his pockets, but a pain nonetheless. An uncomfortable one that has mentally talked me into not going to work. This pisses SS off to no end, but ultimately it’s my decision, and when it comes to my body, I’m the boss. No matter what.

This handsome, freshly groomed Poodle, is the best bed cuddler ever. He sneaks in between SS and I, and when he lays his head on our pillows, we just can’t help but feel our hearts melt. (We only allow this when he is groomed and clean.)
While cuddling this morning, it made me think about the dog I had as a child. She was a Beagle/Lab mix, and saved me a number of times from a bad situation. You see, my Dad would throw his cigarette butts out into the lawn in the backyard when he was done smoking them. Me, not knowing any better and assuming they were okay because my Dad was putting them in his mouth, would find them and put them in MY mouth. That awesome dog, used to take them out of my mouth and lay on them so I couldn’t eat them. Smartest dog ever.

Here’s me with her in the doghouse…..

She really was the best dog ever. We were ALWAYS together.

When I was five, my parents sold their house in the Valley, and moved to a huge 2-story home in a newly developed city called Valencia. You might all know it as the home of Six Flags Magic Mountain. There was very little here at the time, but now, it’s full of cars and people and is ultimately just overcrowded. Definitely not my favorite city anymore.
Not long after moving into that house, the dog somehow hung herself with a leash she was tied off to that afternoon. I can remember coming home from 1st grade and hearing the news. It was heartbreaking for a five-year-old, and the first time I can remember feeling emotional pain.

As the years past, we had other dogs. Labs, German Shepherds, a Cocker Spaniel, and even a Dachshund. And with all those dogs, I never could get close. I never developed a relationship that said we were friends. Sure, I would feed them, and maybe throw a ball once in a while, but didn’t go out of my way to bond with them.

Then I met this guy, and my whole outlook on dogs changed. I never thought a Poodle could steal my heart, but every day when he looks at me with excitement and recognition, my heart flutters and I know it’s true love.

LOVE is a 4-legged word.

 

1 is the loneliest number

“Your first love isn't always the first person you kiss, or the first person you date. Your first love is the person you will always compare everyone to. The person that you will never truly get over, even when you've convinced yourself you've moved on....”

A friend of mine posted that on Facebook today. Is it true?

For me, it is. Every single time I meet someone, I compare them. I don’t mean to do it, and I don’t want to do it, but I do. It’s just automatic. I can’t imagine how horrible it is for the guy, knowing that by the look on my face, I’m comparing him to another in the back of my mind.

It’s a true statement that you need to be fully over someone before you can move on. I totally get it. RM#1 reminds me often. This is the exact reason I haven’t jumped into another relationship. Although it’s been eight months, I’m just not ready. Not ready to replace the one I don’t want to forget. Not ready to come up with pet names for someone else. Not ready to fully give myself to someone that might not appreciate or deserve it. But one day…. 

In the meantime, I enjoy single life, I hang out with cool people, and I think about what will happen, instead of what might have been.

So does the statement above stand true for you?

Happy Friday.

Just remember…

A few days ago, I was talking to one of my bff’s about how much I wanted to give up on dating. He reminded me how much I loved to have someone around just to talk to, just to sit with, just to be there when nobody else was. And then he said this….

Love ya, Big C.

Random. Cute. Lovey Dovey.

 

 

I Love…

…chicken fried steak.

…speed. (driving fast, not the drug)

…the smell of vanilla.

…race day at the track.

…walnuts.

…hugs and kisses from my son.

…a man I’m not supposed to.

…a sappy romantic comedy.

…country music.

…surprise weekend trips to Vegas.

…the feeling of accomplishment.

…passionate kisses.

…“just because” phone calls

…the moves of Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

…going out to eat.

…the smell of race gas.

…lazy Sunday mornings.

…taking pictures.

…swings.

…family.

…second fiftieth chances.

…flowers.

…smiles.

…the ability to overcome hardships.

…love.

I got news for you…

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

Typical Story

Same typical story that everyone knows:

One heart holding on, One heart letting go.

 

Where Do I Find…

 

I want someone to do things like THIS for me. Anyone know where I can find such a person?