I’ve needed a good vent session lately, and while SS is super awesome at listening to me vent, sometimes I just need to get it out when he’s not around. So here it is…
+ When your child comes home with a flyer for school pictures, read the damn thing. Us photographers don’t want to hear shit like, “Who do we make the check out to?” or “How much do the pictures cost?” or “Can we take sibling or group friend pictures?” because while we will politely point out the info on the flyer so you can see it, we will go back to our office and talk about you.
+ While we’re on the topic of school pictures, let me add that when it comes time to pay, just put the damn cash or check in the envelope provided. There’s a reason you’re given those. Don’t staple or tape the cash or check to the envelope. THAT IS RIDICULOUS! IT WILL RIP WHEN WE TRY TO TAKE IT OUT! DON’T BE STUPID. If you’re an irresponsible person and lose everything, including the envelope, don’t just give your money to the teacher. We won’t know who you are without your envelope. They’re coded for a reason.
+ Contrary to what you believe, not everyone on your friends list, wants to see all the drama your life has. In fact, I can tell you that most of us roll our eyes because you bring on the drama. You create it yourself. Your life would be meaningless if you didn’t have drama. (These people usually end up getting deleted from my list because I just can’t…. nevermind. You get the point.
+ I’m really not excited about talking to wedding vendors. I’v put a few requests for quotes out, but when they call me back, I don’t answer. I force it to go to voicemail because I HATE talking on the phone. And since I can’t relinquish control of some things to SS, I’m forced to deal with it. Grrrr. This is when a wedding planner would come in handy. Oh how I wish we had unlimited funds.
+ I have ONE MORE MONTH of child support to pay. So very fucking excited about this that I can’t express the amount of excitment in text. You’d have to see my face. A little annoyed that the money won’t be going into a savings account for us, but I don’t get to make those decisions.
+ When you’re driving, PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN! When you’re driving, PUT THE FUCKING MASCARA, EYESHADOW, AND LIPSTICK DOWN! When you’re driving, STOP SHOVING FOOD INTO YOUR FACE! Do you know why?
Because I value my life. I don’t want to be killed in a car accident because you think the conversation on your phone is more important. Or checking your fucking Facebook status or Snapchat secrets.
Because I value my life. I don’t want to be killed in a car accident because you’re more concerned about the way your makeup looks. Cover the ugly before you leave the house.
Because I value my life. I don’t want to be killed in a car accident because you’re looking down at the sauce that dripped on your shirt while stuffing your face. Get to your location five minutes earlier and eat your food without putting someone else in harms way. Be fucking aware. It’s not too much to ask that you keep your eyes on the damn road. You didn’t do any of that with a driving instructor in the car when you got your license, so don’t do it any other time. Ugh. Fucking people!!
That last one specifically spoke about the people of Southern California. I don’t drive anywhere else at the moment, so can’t speak about Portland or Miami or Park City drivers. But just because I wasn’t speaking specifically about your city, don’t ignore what I said.
Okay, enough! I hate the feeling that doing these vent sessions gives me. I feel angry and annoyed and just ultimately disgusted at the blatent disregard for other people.
The next post will be more positive, I promise. Stay tuned.