Congrats are in order

It’s happened. It’s really happened…

 

…RM#2 proposed to RM#1 on Christmas Day!

Congrats to them! Love you.

 

 

(Hope that doesn’t mean I need to move out now.)

The Future

As a little girl, I grew up thinking about the Knight In Shining Armor that would come rescue me from the life I was dealt. I wanted someone that would swoop me away from my abusive dad, and be sympathetic when I acted like he did. I wanted someone to bring me roses, and tell me that I'll never be like my mother. No matter how much I looked like her, I just wouldn't be. 

As my life developed into adulthood, I began to quickly realize I wasn't finding my Knight in Shining Armor as easily as I had hoped. I looked and looked and looked, sampling many of the different options, but alas, didn't find my Knight. I mistakenly took my Knight for a Joker in a Knight outfit once. That was seven years of life lesson after life lesson. Maybe he missed a flight so I didn't see him at the airport. Maybe he fell out of a hot air balloon and was stuck in a tree.

About seven months ago, I had a real long talk with my bff @ work. He sat me down and made a few things real clear. I, at the time, was 33, and wasn't getting any younger. My life had taken a turn when JK and I broke up a few months earlier, and bff @ work was here to tell me it was time to stop searching for that silly Knight. He told me that it was okay to be alone. He told me that it was okay to establish myself. He told me that eating alone in restaurants, isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean you're lonely. It doesn't mean you have no friends. And he promised, that people didn't judge me for it. 

A few days later, bff @ work lost his wife. That was huge for me. When I sat in his living room and watched him fall to his knees in tears in front of a house full of people, I was even more confused. I felt as if I never wanted to be close to anyone again for fear that THIS VERY SITUATION would happen to me. So, for the next week or so, I pushed people away. I alienated myself from the world. And my walls went up with padlocks. 

I remember the day I looked in the mirror and told myself that things were about to change. I remember that day very clearly. Two days later, my roomies and I moved into this great big house, and I left the stuff behind that troubled me. I brought none of it with me. And with that, I allowed the one person (Jeffy) back into my life that kept knocking on my walls and trying to break those padlocks with a crowbar.

From time to time, I sit and reflect on where my life will go from here. I'm 34 and still living with roommates, unable to afford housing on my own. The desires I once had as a growing girl, seem to be so far out of reach, it's almost discouraging. A husband. A house with a picket fence. A dog chasing a little kid. All things I so desperately want, falling farther and farther away from me. 

I guess I'll need to start looking in trees.....

:-)

A holiday Christmas party at The Ranch, and K Mo and I are the only ones with Santa hats.

Just sayin'

This doesn't need words.

It's specific to something. If you don't understand it, then feel lucky it wasn't meant for you.  :-)

Significance of a Song

Marina Del Rey has been my favorite song for as long as I can remember. Typically, when someone hears the song, they think it has some sort of 'ex love' significance. Wrong. Nothing of the sort. At least not to me. I know, I know. The song talks about making love to a former flame. What the song is about, doesn't have anything to do with why I love this song so much and even go so far as to call it "my favorite song".

You see, I had this grandfather, who was the most important person to me. He was someone I enjoyed spending my time with. We always got to see him (and my grandmother) on the weekends we were with my dad. (Seeing them was the only exciting part about going to dads every other weekend.) I have so many memories of him, that I wouldn't even know where to start if I tried to explain now. Anyway, grandpa used to always like to go to Marina Del Rey for his birthday or Father's Day. Therefore, growing up, I always associated Marina Del Rey with him. Every time I went there, we had a wonderful time. Going around to shops and having dinner at wonderful restaurants, always made the time I spent with him, more special.

In 1993, grandpa passed away. I stopped listening to Marina Del Rey when it would come on the radio. I had a really hard time with it. I was 13, and hadn't yet figured out how to express my emotions properly.

The parts of the song that get me the most are:

Like the ocean tides

Highs and lows

Love sometimes comes and goes away

In Marina Del Rey

And as this plane is touching down

Tears touch my eyes for I have found

My heart has stayed

In Marina Del Rey

When I hear the song, I think about the wonderful times we had in Marina Del Rey. I think about how loves "comes and goes away", and how much his passing affected me. It was really hard for a long time, but now I just smile and think grandpa made them play it on the radio, just for me.

Scratch & Sniff

 

         

Do you remember scratch & sniff stickers? They were some of my favorite stickers. My awesome sticker book was FULL of an assortment of stickers. I used to take my awesome sticker book to school and share it with my two bff’s. I was so proud of it. My awesome sticker book might be packed away in a box. Perhaps one of these days I’ll go through a box or two and see if I can find it. Until then, I’ll just continue to post some awesome photos of what made me smile as a child.

A Sunday Stroll

As I pulled out of the driveway, I rolled ever so slowly down the street. Not something I normally do, but hey, it was Sunday. What was the rush? Besides, the slower I go, the more I see.

Just a few doors down, I saw an old couple standing outside their front door hanging a Christmas wreath and smiling at each other as they agreed on how straight it looked. Each with a coffee cup in hand. A little further down on the right, I watched a young man rake leaves into a pile so they weren’t covering his front lawn, driveway, and street. Towards the bottom of the street, on the left, I saw a woman putting kids dressed in holiday outfits,  into the SUV in her driveway. Off to take Christmas photos perhaps?

Who knows?

I could sit here and pretend that I know for certain the old couple that hung the Christmas wreath, were happy. But what if that was the first time they had smiled together in months? I could pretend that the kid raking up leaves was doing it because he enjoyed it, not because it was some form of punishment for not picking up his younger sister from Cheer practice. Just as there’s no way for certain to know that, on a Sunday afternoon, the kids jumped into their white SUV and were headed to grandma’s house for dinner, not to see their dad in jail. Obviously I don’t know.

Often times I pass through life so fast, I don’t notice things that perhaps I should. Things that might, make a difference. Would I have ever noticed that couple if I had been preoccupied with turning up the radio? Nope. Would have passed them by like they weren’t even there. I might have noticed the kid raking leaves, but more times than not, would have considered him to be “in my way” while trying to speed down the street.

I don’t know if it’s the approaching holiday season, or just the plain fact that people eventually do end up changing, but whatever it is, I accept it. I welcome it.

Time to slow down….

I want to…

…swing on the swings.

Sunday Stealing

Hi Readers! Happy Sunday.

I hope your weekend is going well. I would imagine most people are in full Christmas decorating mode. I, am not. RM#1 already decorated everything.

It's been a while, but I'm going to play along this week to Sunday Stealing. If you want to play along, click the link.

Let's get started....

What is your favorite possession? My car. It's the one and only thing I own that gives me a sense of accomplishment. It controls where I go and how fast I get there. I take car of her, and she takes care of me.

Do you like to read? If so, which books do you love best? I don't like to read books. I barely get through all the blogs I'm supposed to be keeping up with. Reading just isn't my thing.

Do you have any pets? I live with animal trainers who have, at any given time, five to ten dogs at the house. I do not need a pet of my own.

What was your favorite food as a child? Is it the same now? Hot dogs. I could eat them every single day, for every meal. When I was pregnant, it was the ONLY food that didn't make me throw up. Three meals a day, I ate hot dogs for seven months. The X, did not participate in this. He was pretty grossed out by the amount I could consume in one day.

What is your favorite thing about blogging? Just being able to say whatever I want and not care what people say.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Anywhere but California. I can't WAIT to move away from this state. Maybe Michigan, or Colorado, or Montana. No specific reasons as to why, just anywhere but Cali.

What is your favorite number? Twelve. Everything great comes in dozens. Roses, donuts, you get my point...

Which of these things would you find hardest to give up for a year? Chocolate, reading, coffee or smoking? Smoking for sure. I only eat chocolate a few times a year, don't enjoy reading much, and don't drink coffee. Guess that was easy.

If you could make your life into a movie, what would you name it.. and who would you want to play you? I would call it One Step Forward, Two Steps Back. I'd probably have Lindsey Lohan play me. Her desire to be lazy and not work, is a lot like mine.

If you had £20,000 for a shopping spree, what would you buy? A new car.

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? Kyle Busch. :-)

I hope you learned something you didn't already know about me.
Have a fantastic Sunday!

-v

Meet K Mo

Hi Readers! Guess what?!?

It's Friday!

Are you as excited as I?

A few days ago, I posted about my birthday dinner, and mentioned K Mo, my female bff @ work. I received an email from a reader asking for me to talk about her. So, here she is....

Meet..... K Mo

K Mo

This is my girl. She's one of my closest friends. She will DEFINITELY be in my wedding one day. She's fun to drink with, and we both despise irritating people. It's almost like a match made in heaven.

She's a horse fanatic. Been riding since before she could walk. She rode competitively starting at the age of nine, and went into training them after that. As I type this, I'm wondering why we haven't gone riding....

"The most valuable lesson I ever learned in all my horse training and teaching was, rule #1- stay on top of the horse. Rule #2- if the horse rolls over, refer back to rule #1." -k mo

"You don't know how to ride a horse until you know how to fall off one." -k mo

And that's her. I hope you learn to love her as much as I do. :-)

John Travolta and Olivia Newton John video

I'd like to apologize now for what you're about to see. Since I was forced to watch it, I figured I'd force you to watch it too. Ha. 

I honestly don't have words for this video. It.....

.....leaves me speechless. 

Just sayin'