The longer I sit here at home, the more my mind wanders. When my mind wanders, I get in trouble. My mind switches from excited, to worried, to depressed, to unsure, and it’s because of all this extra time I have to sit and think.
I MISS WORK!
Here’s what I’m feeling and why…
…Sad - It looks as if my wedding shower is going to be canceled. Since we are on this “Safer at Home” soft lockdown through the end of April, the shower that was scheduled for end of April, can’t happen. Ugh.
…Pissed - I keep thinking about what would happen if we have to actually cancel the wedding. Would I lose all the money we’ve paid? Will they allow us to put the money towards a different date? Do I even want to pick a different date? When I start to think about all that, I get angry and mad and it ultimately leads to being pissed.
…Despressed - All the hours of prep time that have gone into planning this shower and wedding could possibly be for nothing. If we ultimately decide to have the wedding on that day, regardless of where it happens, the shower can’t happen because the person throwing it (MOH), can’t come any other time.
…Excited - It took us months and months to pick a date on which we could agree. Then it took over a year and a half for the time to actually get here. That was all very exciting. To think that we might actually get to do that again, could be exciting. I mean, we never were in a rush to get married, so maybe we just need to wait one more year. And another year of saving, could be exciting as well.
I could go on and on and on and on some more, but I think you get the gist of what I’m feeling. It’s all wedding related. I promised I wouldn’t be a Bridezilla, and thus far, I haven’t. I’m really hoping to stick with that promise, because ultimately, I have to accept the things I cannot change.
…until next time.