Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My thoughts for today

Fear can be so ugly.

Fear is one of my biggest downfalls. It cripples me often. It contributes to failing relationships with others and sometimes prevents me from having a really great time. And I hate it. Unfortunately, I don’t appear to be strong enough to kick its ass. He’s a big son-of-a-bitch and I’m just downright afraid of him. Plain. And. Simple.

With every failed relationship, trip on the sidewalk in public, hyperventilation at top floor hotels, airplane ride, or scary first date, I learn to hold back just a little more. I proceed with more caution because I’ve already experienced the end result and I know how the story ends. And at that point, I have to ask myself, “Why would you want to do that if you know it ends in pain”. The answer? I don’t know. Maybe because I’m hoping that finally it won’t hurt. Finally it’ll end in smiles. Or better yet, maybe it won’t end.

Happy Hump Day Humping Day Wednesday! T-minus 3 days till vacation.

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