Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dancing With The Stars - Season 11

Let me start out by making one thing clear. I do not watch reality TV, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have never watched an entire season of DWTS, and I don’t plan to start now. I’ve caught a few glimpses of the dancing as I pass through the living room of JK’s parents house while they stare at the television, but have never actually sat down and watched an episode. Due to this, perhaps I’m not the best person to judge the incoming cast of season 11, but I’m going to anyway. I couldn’t help but choke on my drink this morning at some of the selections for this season when I read them, and immediately knew I had to blurt out what I thought. So, here’s my two cents.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino - Probably the most annoying person on television right now. I’m annoyed with his voice, I’m annoyed with his stupid ‘looking over his sunglasses’ to look cool, I’m annoyed with his always lifting his shirt. I mean, really? How many times do you have to show your abs? We know what they look like. No need to keep showing them. This is a dancing show, right? Ugh

Bristol Palin - Ummm. When did she become a celebrity? She’s known for nothing other than being a teen mom. Is that really the message we want to be sending? I think not. Tragic. Very tragic. Ugh. 

David Hasselhoff - Will he even stay sober for the whole season? I loved Knight Rider, but his acting made the show unbearable to watch. Same goes for Baywatch. People didn’t watch the show because of the good acting. They watched it for the bouncing boobs. Duh. You’re a has-been, David. Deal with it. Ugh.

Brandy - I’ll be honest with this one. I know absolutely nothing about her, other than she can sing. I never listened to her music, but I know she wouldn’t have made it to where she was as a singer, if she didn’t have a good set of pipes. As for dancing, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Good luck, girl.

Kurt Warner - A football great, I admit it. Not one of my favorites, but a great nonetheless. With his athletic body and stiff stature, flexible dance moves and fast moving steps might prove to be too much for this recently retired MVP. Good luck honey.

Jennifer Grey - Best known for her roles in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Dirty Dancing, let’s hope those dance moves with Johnny Castle paid off. She’s got my vote.

Michael Bolton - Really? Another has-been. I saw Michael perform back in the early 90’s. He was on top of the charts and a phenomenal singer. Note: he can not dance. I watched him move across the stage as he tried to show some dance moves as he sang, but truly, he shouldn’t have. Let’s hope the dancer he gets paired with knows what they’re doing.

Margaret Cho - Hmm. Not quite sure what to say about this one. She’s funny, and will definitely bring some comedy to the show, but as for her dancing abilities, I’m not sure. Unless belly dancing is what American is going for, I think her tatted up body will be booed, as she was in ‘95.

Rick Fox - A former basketball player, who let’s hope isn’t as clumsy on the dance floor as he is on the court. B-ball players have been known to be overly dramatic when it comes to ‘fouls’ on the court, yet proving to me that some might do well in ballet class. We’ll see how well he does. Good luck, Rick.

Florence Henderson - For no other reason than hilarity, much like Cloris Leachman in season 7, she will no doubt have people laughing. With a laundry list of great shows and special appearances, she never fails to win the hearts of America. But, will that prove true with her dancing skills? We’ll see. Good luck, Florence.

Kyle Massey - Who? Being a singer and guitarist doesn’t mean you can get down with the some of the best dancers in the country, but we’ll see if Kyle’s rap/music background has taught him anything. Let’s hope America is looking for more than just a “Disney” story.

Audrina Patridge - Hesitant to call her a star, here’s another reality TV actress. Better known for her Carl’s Jr. commercials that left men licking their television screens last year, (my JK being one of them), I’m certain she will be Jennifer Grey’s biggest competition. Let’s hope the final episode comes down to the two most talented dancers, not the two biggest douche bags.

Since I could truly care less about who wins, I’ll cast my vote early on with either Jennifer Grey or Audrina Patridge. What are your thoughts? Who do you think will win?

No comments:

Post a Comment