47 Days

For 47 days, I had painful stents inside my ureters. I couldn't cough without it hurting. I couldn't sneeze without it hurting. At times, I couldn't stand up straight because of the positioning of them. It was a true testament to my mental health, and I'm here to tell you, I broke. 

One Saturday morning, SS and I were headed out to the Farmers Market. As I got up from the couch and walked to grab my keys, I coughed. This cough literally brought me to my knees. At that time, the stents had been in for 37 days, and one can assume that scar tissue was already starting to form over them. This means that when moved, that tissue tears/rips, and it doesn't feel good. I struggled to walk around that entire morning, and ended up cutting my day short to just go home. Also at this time, I still had not taken any sort of pain reliever, that really helped. And the sound vibrations weren't helping anymore. 

A week later, I just couldn't handle the pain anymore. I was so tired of crying in the shower and wondering if things would ever go back to normal. I was feeling traumatized by this whole situation, that I finally called the Urologists office, in tears, and begged them to do something for me. He brought me into the office to talk to me, calm me down. He was 100% convinced that the pain was in my head and my anxiety was making it worse. He gave me a prescription for Valium, and sent me home. The Valium calmed me down a bit, but it never helped with the pain, of course, because it wasn't just in my head. The next day, he agreed to schedule me for a stent removal, but if I wanted the pain to stop asap, we needed to do it in office, instead of in the hospital with anesthesia. 

The last time this procedure was tried, I had a panic attack and the procedure failed. I couldn't allow that to happen again. I needed these damn things out, and even though I was so scared and certain it would fail again, I told him yes. 

My appointment was scheduled for 3pm, so I had to deal with the anxiety of it all, all morning at work. Because I was going to be on some heavy sedation medication (that honestly everyone I spoke to said not to mix), I needed to have a driver. Somehow I was able to convince SS to go with me, against his will. 

To be honest, this procedure should be more than anyone should handle, but when SS told me he was going to be really angry he took off work and this didn't end up happening, I knew I had to do everything I could. Between the medications I had taken, and the extreme amount of Lidocaine they used, I was able to get through the procedure. SS was proud of me, and even the doctor told me that. Whew!

I walked out of that office with zero pain. None. They were both out and I was pain free. 
Best. Feeling. Ever.

Human Vibration and its Healing Power

Human vibration is defined as the effect of mechanical vibration of the environment on the human body. I know. What does that mean? Well, let me try to explain...

During our normal daily life, we are exposed to various sources of vibration, for example, the copy machine at work, the car you drove, the chime of the grandfather clock in the other room, or the leaf-blower being used outside by the gardener. Every single thing in the universe, has a vibration. Even if objects appear stationary, they are still vibrating. 
The natural frequency of a human-standing body is about 7.5 Hz, and the frequency of a human-sitting is generally 4–6 Hz. 

Joseph Puleo studied the Solfeggio Frequencies (they were the basic notes of Gregorian chants that were used by early Roman Christians to raise vibrations and energy) and he said that music penetrates the conscious and subconscious mind. 

• 174 Hz relieves pain and stress

• 285 Hz heals tissues and organs

• 396 Hz liberates you from fear and guilt

• 417 Hz facilitates change

• 528 Hz for transformation and DNA repair

• 639 Hz reconnects you with your relationships

• 741 Hz helps provide solutions and self-expression

• 852 Hz brings you back to a spiritual order

• 963 HZ creates room for oneness and unity

Over the last week, I have had several people suggest home healing remedies. Anything from drinking straight Apple Cider Vinegar or Beer, to eating cactus with honey, to hibiscus tea, to edibles, to sound vibrations, to......so many other things. Because I'm such a picky eater, I figured I'd start with an easy one, sound vibration. I was sent a YouTube link to "Healing Frequency for Kidney Stones". The frequency was a high pitched squealing sound, that seemed to really irritate my cats more than anything. I listened for the full 15 minutes, and turned it off. (After doing a little bit of research and math, this sound was at about 715 Hz.)

The following day, I started Googling "sound vibrations" and "human vibrations". Much to my surprise, I found a lot of information. I read through pages and pages of studies people had done that proved this to work, but then I read page after page of people saying it's pseudoscience and not real even though it's been practiced since the 6th century BC.🤷

Anyway, after listening to a couple different sounds, I found one with which I really connected. It was three hours long (and didn't piss off my cats) so I knew it would keep playing if I happened to fall asleep. After having one of the worst nights of pain, I was ready to give this a try. The frequency list above says that 285 Hz heals tissues and organs. I'm looking to help my kidneys heal and pass all these stone pieces. 319.88 was the one which I listened.

Less than thirty minutes later, I could feel the pain less than when I had started. I was apprehensive to believe it, so I shifted in my seat to see how my bladder would react. Still felt full (even though I knew it wasn't). Another thirty minutes went by and I couldn't believe it. I had no pain. None. I was afraid to move because I was loving this pain-free feeling after the week I've had, but knew I needed to test it. I stood up. Nothing. I walked to the bathroom. Nothing. Was this really happening? I still have two stents in, so I know that is causing some of the pain and discomfort, but was the actual PAIN gone?

I peed.

For the first time in a week, it didn't burn or sting or pinch or anything else. It just was.

I'm taking this as a win. I don't know if the pain and/or pressure will come back, but it's gone for right now. Was it the sound vibration that helped with the pain? Maybe. Was it just the fact that it's been 6 days and the healing process is in full force? Maybe. Either way, I know when the pain stopped.

Achievement

It’s awesome to know that things are finally starting to fall into place.

Growth is so freakin’ awesome!

The X and I spoke over the phone this evening. He has allowed me to have RJ from Friday night to Sunday night. An entire weekend. I have him all to myself. It’s a bit of a challenge to take on the responsibility of an eleven year old, I totally get that, but I’m ready for it. Bring. It. On. After all, he’s my son. How bad could it be? (oh dear. did I really just say that?)

I have finally caught up on my student loans. I was behind for sooo long, I felt like there was no end. Received the notice today saying, “zero balance due…until such and such date”. When I looked at the payoff amount, I smiled knowing I’d paid off $3,000 of it. I hope the next few don’t take forever. <sigh>

Good news about my back. After four days of unbelievable pain, it’s much less than it was. I walked around a lot at work today, so I think maybe that helped a bit. Right now it’s not hurting to sit. I can turn my body around (as to crack my back) without screaming for help in turning back around.

I have an ex that I’m missing. It’s not good, I know, and I’d never actually call him and tell him, but I do think about it. I think about how immature we were all those years ago, and how different we both were today.

I have the greatest roommate in the whole world. Even though she told me I wasn’t allowed to decorate crazily for Halloween.

Until next time, folks.

Oooouuuch.

If I tell my back pain the same thing I tell boyfriends, will it run away too?

Dear back pain,
I love you.
-val

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Back pain. Again.

Back in February, I hurt my back. I never figured out what caused it, and after about three or four days, the pain was completely gone. Those exercises Squid told me about actually helped quite a bit. I might go so far as to say it helped the pain go away faster. Without those painful exercises, perhaps the pain would have lasted longer than it did. Maybe.

It’s been seven months, and the pain is back. Un-freakin’-believable. I wish I had some great story about how I threw it out swinging from the ceiling fan in my room during an exciting sexcapade. Or a terrible movie stunt gone wrong. But I don’t. It’s simply nothing more than a wrong sleeping position. I think.

I went on a movie date last night (oh, I can’t wait to review that movie), and sitting in the theatre seats was not fun. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat throughout the whole movie. Getting up for work this morning was difficult. The stabbing pain was controlling my every move. The trainers tried to help me in every way they could. Boss#2 provided me with some patches to put over the area that was painful, but I think she went a bit out of control when I showed her where it hurt. I had ELEVEN patches on my lower back. And there was no relief from any of those patches. :-(

I was desperate for some relief, so a close friend provided me with a little pill. I took it about an hour ago. So far, I’m having hot flashes, and a little bit of a lightheadedness. No pain relief yet.

Back pain

Back pain. One of the most annoying and debilitating pains.

A few days ago, a sharp pain entered my back with a strong force. I don’t know where it came from, what caused it, or how to get rid of, but it’s been nothing but a nuisance. I can’t stand up straight while I walk, I sit different in my car, and sleeping in difficult.

I’ve been taking Ibuprofen like a mad woman, but not once have I felt it relieve any of the pain. I have a very weak stomach when it comes to taking Vicodin or Darvocet, so my pain relief options are limited. SQUID tells me to lay down flat on my back and pull my knees to my chest one at a time. Yeah right! I know exactly what that will feel like, and “OUCH!” is what I can say to that.

I’m not sure how long this pain will last, but I hope it doesn’t last long. It prevents me from doing lots of things I’m used to doing, and my laundry basket won’t pick up itself.

Anyone have any ideas? I’m a big wuss when it comes to pain, so this is almost crippling.

Here goes…To Whom It May Concern

I’m going to be rude for one minute because I’m sick of the indirect accusations. I apologize in advance to those this does not directly relate to, but it’s my blog and my unfiltered thoughts about this, can not be hidden anymore.

If you do not know anything, NOT ONE F*ING THING, about my current situation, shut your damn mouth and mind your own f’ing business. You are not better than me to pass judgment. You know absolutely nothing about what I’ve been through over this past weekend, so shut your fat ass mouth and go back into the hole you crawled out of.

Go F-OFF!