Tuesday, January 16, 2018

To Wash or Not Wash

Do you wash your jeans?

I always do, but a LOT of people are saying the machine ruins the denim, so they don’t. Honestly, I can’t imagine not washing them. Men and their sweaty balls, women and their smelly vajayjay. You’re gonna tell me you’re going to sit on a bus or train or plane seat and assume those aren’t getting your jeans dirty? You’re gonna tell me you’re going to go into a restaurant or fast food place and sit down and those seats will keep your jeans clean? You’re gonna tell me that you’re going to wipe your wet hands on your pant legs after coming out of a public bathroom because you hate air dryers and there are no towels, and your jeans don’t get dirty? You’re gonna tell me you’re going to allow a friends dog jump up on you and slobber on your pants without them getting dirty?

You’re a fool.

Here’s what Google says when asked how often you should wash your jeans.
“Basically, when they smell - no sooner and no longer. Depending on how much you sweat, how often you wear them in a week, and how dirty the area you live in is, that could be once every two to six months.”

The CEO of Levi’s says you should never wash a pair of jeans. He suggests ‘spot cleaning’ any stains with a toothbrush.

I’ve heard about people putting their jeans in the freezer, because it apparently kills the bacteria on them that causes the smell. See!! There IS bacteria on them and THEY SMELL! Stop telling yourself they don’t. If you’re worried about them being ruined in the dryer, then don’t put them in there. Air dry them.

Clearly this is advice for people that don’t wear their jeans working on a farm, or in a landfill, or as animal trainers. I’m sure this ‘don’t wash your jeans’ fad speaks to people that only wear their jeans to museums or drive-thru restaurants, but still. It’s gross. Wash your damn clothes!

What are your thoughts on washing jeans?

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