Lonely.

I am not writing this post for sympathy, so please, don’t feel sorry for me. That’s not at all what this post is about.

The holidays get me every time. I haven’t been a “holiday celebrator” for several years now. I guess the divorce kind of took all the fun out of doing things as a “family” for the holidays. With RM#1 gone, Sis and Squid gone, I’ve got nothing. Sure, I could attend Thanksgiving dinner at Boss#2’s house, or accept the invitation from a very close family friend, but honestly, I just want to be alone. I don’t want to deal with the drama that comes along with getting large groups of people together. I want to spend ONE day of the year, not listening to someone bitch or complain about something.

I don’t make this stuff up y’all. It’s already out there. There are other people that feel this way too. It can’t be THAT bad, right?

I have felt like this cactus many times. Some days even begging people just to give me a hug so I could feel like they cared for one quick second. But then my sharp thorns come poking through and I’m once again…alone.

This couldn’t be more true. There are a few walls I’m glad I’ve built. I’ve kept them up for reasons I believe are best for me. Bridges are more complex. Their harder to build than a wall, trust me. I’ve recently built a bridge I ain’t ever gonna tear down again. It was hard work, but an amazing journey.

This is some kind of ridiculous pillow, that I almost certainly NEED. I can’t begin to explain how much I miss being able to curl up into his arm. (You know it’s over for sure when all you miss is his arm…lol.)

Take one. Maybe you’ll make his day. Should I try it? Maybe it’ll make MY day.

Happy almost Thanksgiving. I hope you’re not as lonely as I am. :-)