Sunday, January 30, 2011

Today. Sigh.

Today was a whirlwind of emotions for me. Today, was a bad day. An officially bookmarked bad day in the book of life I write.

I was awaken this morning by the blaring sounds of a clock radio. It’s definitely not my favorite thing to wake up to, but when I stay at JK’s house, it’s just something I know happens. To make that very  moment in time just a bit more annoying, it was Dwight Yoakam, whom I refuse to allow my ears to listen to. Whatever. I was allowed to go back to sleep after JK got up, so I was happy with that. Yay!

I woke up about two hours later, feeling a little bit better, yet still not wanting to actually get out of bed. I just felt like being lifeless. Then I fell back asleep. JK came and woke me up about an hour later, and up out of bed I got. Shower was nice. Refreshing. Maybe today was actually going to be okay.

JK and I decided on a Sunday brunch at a local Mexican restaurant. Mmm. The day was moving right along and things were great.

We parted ways, each having to go to work to pick things up, but we met back at his house to do the things we needed to do while continuing to be together. Him sitting at the lab alone and me sitting at the ranch alone, was just not as fun as sitting together. Happy.

Here’s where things went wrong. And by wrong, I don’t mean the drop a toothbrush into the toilet and continue to use it kind of wrong, I mean the say something you’ll regret for the rest of your life kind of wrong. A life altering statement.

Without having to share every word that came out of both our mouths, I left JK’s house and went to mine. <Insert very long sigh here>

Once I’m home, I spent the next 45 minutes doing the work I needed to do. Whew. Relieved that’s done. Trainers, you are now excused from the set.

Now, to deal with JK. I’m not about to just let it go. We didn’t get where we are today by “letting things go”. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. Can’t tell you enough how much anxiety that brought. *Shudder*

While sitting in my room, taking a deep breath, RM#1 comes in and tells me she made an offer on a house today. The deep breath I was trying to enjoy, turned into a moment of panic. Then more anxiety. All I could think about was how much of a commitment that was. And you know what? It scared the crap out of me.

My name is Valerie. I’m 32 years old. I’ve never owned a home, and I’m totally okay with that.


  1. It's not for everyone but I get through life by letting things slide. If not things would be a mess.

    Hugs and Good luck to you.

  2. If I thought for one second that JK would let slide things that were said (by either of us), I wouldn't be worried. It's been 24 hours and not a word. The worrying began around the 12 hour point. :-/

    Thanks for the hugs!