Friday, June 3, 2011

Here it is…

I didn’t want to write about this on here, but I will, just once, because maybe it’ll help me feel better. Something I can look back on. It’s easy for me to put my emotions/thoughts/feelings onto paper, but having them form a sentence and make sense to someone else is something totally different.

While out of town this past weekend, I didn’t deal with my emotions. I didn’t even mention once to anyone that I was having a problem with my relationship, and nobody knew different. As far as everyone was concerned, JK and I were just fine. Since then, I have spoken with two people who now know the entire truth of what happened. One of them sat and hugged me as I cried out everything I wanted to say. All the anger, the hurt, the examples of misguided roads I took, all came rushing out tear after tear. He laughed at me for some of the choices I made, and grumbled about others telling me I should have known better. Another friend just simply sat and listened to me whine about the online flings he’s now trying to establish. She watched me curl up into a ball on her couch and cry myself into a puddle. Woe is me.

I have come to terms with what has happened between JK and I. It hurts, I won’t lie, and I'm crying as I type this, but I've accepted what has happened and what lies ahead. I dug my own hole, and I fell in it. I hurt some very important people, I know. I will overcome this and as long as I know I have the support of a few key people, I'll be okay. I know I can't do this alone, and I won't. I’ve asked for help and I’m getting it.  :-)

Have a great weekend, readers. RM#1 is out of town for a few days, so I’ll be doing a lot of laying around.

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