Friday, July 23, 2010

Learning to deal

It happened again. Today. I saw the car that haunts my life. (story here.)

I see it almost every day, but today, it pulled up next to me, and parked. *Deep breath* I’ll be honest, it freaked me out a bit. My heart skipped two beats, and then skipped two more, until I saw the man get out of his car. His tall slim build, dark hair, glasses, and slight pot belly, sent my heart racing. I couldn’t deal with it. My heart was actually causing my chest to hurt, so I quickly changed gears and drove away.

In nine months, LZ and Squid will be getting married. He will be in attendance, and believe me when I say I’m so not prepared to handle that. I want nothing more than to have photos of LZ walking down the isle in her beautiful wedding dress, but there’s not anything I can do about the man that will be walking with her. It’s not my wedding, so my opinions have no merit, and my sanity, for one day, will be put on the tailgate of a pickup truck and bounced off ever so lightly as I drive to the ceremony. I will hold my head up high, have the time of my life, and show him exactly who I’ve become and how happy I am, without him in my life.

Now, to find a date. Such dilemmas.



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