Father’s Day

“It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children, and step up to the plate another man left on the table.”

Father’s Day has never been one of my favorite days. The strained relationship my Dad and I had for over 31 years, forced me to walk away because it was simply better for me. In order to survive in life, I had to walk away from the poison that had flooded my head for so long. But please don’t feel sorry for me because I don’t have a father in my life. Trust me. It’s for the better. My life is so much more amazing today without him, than it would be with him still a part of it.

I used to hate him. I used to be so angry at him, that I used to wish he would die so that he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. Then one day he got real sick and was in the hospital. And I still secretly wished he would die. But he didn’t.

As the days and weeks and months go by, I find myself less and less affected by not having a Dad around. It sometimes makes it difficult to know how to interact with other Dads, and I sometimes get a little emotional when I see the overjoyed faces of those so happily involved with their Dad’s. Then I remember that it’s not a contest of who has the better Dad. It’s life. And everyone’s is different.

Happy Father’s Day to all my Daddy readers. You’re amazing people and deserve more than just one day of recognition.

Now go have a beer, Daddies!

Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

…to all the dads that don’t beat their kids.

…to all the dads that don’t scare their kids into a lifetime of fear.

…to all the dads who pay attention while their kids grow up.

…to all the dads who protect their children from the bad guys, not become a bad guy.

…to the dads that support their kids.

…to the dads that love their children.

To My Daddies…

I, sadly, have nothing to do with my father. This is my choice, and a topic for another time. Today, I want to say…

Thank You Frank - for being the father that mine wasn’t. Thank you for going to my basketball games in high school, and the late night choir performances. Thank you for teaching me some of the things that get me through life today. Thank you for showing me the ways to treat and not treat someone. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes. Thank you for the apologies when you knew you were unreasonable, and the criticism that made me grow.

Thank You Terry – for being my weekend father. Thank you for allowing me to come to your house on the weekends and be your 3rd child. Thank you for treating me as one of your own, whether good mood or bad. Thank you for advice over those young years that you don’t even know you gave me. Thank you for showing me, through your own children, what fathers should really be like. Most of all, thank you for always having NASCAR on the TV. I do believe always seeing it at your house is what fueled my addiction of today.

Thank You Tony –for keeping one of my biggest secrets (although I’ve come to find out, it wasn’t so secret after all). Thank you for showing me, although not directly, that it’s okay to make mistakes as a parent, as long as your kids don’t notice. Thank you for the acceptance of me you’ve always made known.

Thank You Armand –for just being you. This in itself, is enough.

Thank You Gerry –for being one of the biggest influences in my life. Thank you for showing me it’s okay to be strong, and even more okay to be weak. Thank you for loving me no matter what I’ve done, and what I’ll do in the future. Thank you for not being afraid of putting me in my place when I’ve been wrong, and thank you for being one of the first to tell me how proud you are of me. Thank you for allowing me to be me.

Over 31+ years, I’ve had some pretty strong father figures. There aren’t big enough letters to put here that would emphasize how grateful I am for each and every one of them.  Although beyond appreciative of the support and teachings of these fine men, there will always be a void that nobody will ever fill. An empty spot, where I wish I could fit the love I have for my own father. But I can’t. And with the influences of the above mentioned, I’ll deal with it. After all, FIVE is better than ONE, right?